Phil Wenneck: Tracy, it's Phil.
Tracy Garner: Phil, where the hell are you guys?
Phil Wenneck: We lost Doug.
Tracy Garner: What? We're getting married in five hours.
Phil Wenneck: Yeah... that's not gonna happen.

Hey you guys ready to let the dogs out?

Alan Garner

Sid Garner: Don't let Alan drive, because there's something wrong with him.
Doug Billings: Understood.
Sid Garner: Oh, and Phil either. I don't like him.

Its funny because he's fat!

Mr. Chow

Oh, you know what? Next week's no good for me... The Jonas Brothers are in town. But any week after that, it's totally fine.

Alan Garner

I have this cousin Marcus who saw one he said it blew his mind I want to make sure I never ever miss out on a Haley's comet.

Alan Garner

You wanna fuck on me?

Mr. Chow

I have a weakness for prostitutes apparently, all kinds.

Stu

I wish monkeys could skype.

Alan

"I have a demon in me."

Stu

Mr. Chow: Did you die?
Phil: No, but i was shot.
Mr. Chow: But did you die?

Stu: I'm part of some weird wolf pack.
Alan: Hey, it's not weird. It's really quite cool, there's no membership fee.

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