Not at the table, Jose!

Alan Garner

Don't you worry your pretty stripped head were gonna get you back to Tyson and your cozy tiger bed. Then were gonna find our best friend Doug and then were gonna give him a best friend hug... Doug Doug, Dougie, Doug, Doug.

Stu Price

What do tigers dream of when they take a little tiger snooze? Do they dream of mauling zebras or Halle Berry in her cat woman suit.

Stu Price

Alan Garner: Who's baby is that?
Phil Wenneck: We'll deal with the baby later.
Stu Price: We're not gonna leave a baby in the room. There's a tiger in the bathroom!

Stu: I'm part of some weird wolf pack.
Alan: Hey, it's not weird. It's really quite cool, there's no membership fee.

"All I wanted was a breakfast brunch."

Stu

Phil: "It happened again."
Tracy: "Seriously, what is wrong with you three?"

Stu Price: You are literally too stupid to insult.
Alan Garner: Thank you.

Phil Wenneck: Would you shut up and drive before these nerds ask me another question. Who's this?
Doug Billings: It's Alan. Tracy's brother.
Alan Garner: I met you like four times.
Phil Wenneck: Oh, yeah. How you doing, man?

Phil Wenneck: Tracy, it's Phil.
Tracy Garner: Phil, where the hell are you guys?
Phil Wenneck: We lost Doug.
Tracy Garner: What? We're getting married in five hours.
Phil Wenneck: Yeah... that's not gonna happen.

That's right, keep steppin'. I'll hit an old man in public!

Alan Garner

Phil: You ever do anything that doesn't end up in a standoff, Chow?
Mr. Chow: I'm an international criminal, it always ends like this.

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