"I have a demon in me."


"We made a pact, Wolfpack only."

Alan [to Teddy]

Stu: I'm part of some weird wolf pack.
Alan: Hey, it's not weird. It's really quite cool, there's no membership fee.

I have a weakness for prostitutes apparently, all kinds.


Holla, City of Squalor!

Mr. Chow

K as in Knife.


First I lost my monkey, and now my hat. Could this day get any worse?


I was gonna have you sing 'Burn it Up' by the Jonas Brothers, but then I remembered you don't like Indie music.


Phil: You're not my friend!
Alan: Don't say that Phil, are you serious? Even in America!?
Stu: You're the bearded devil!

Phil: You ever do anything that doesn't end up in a standoff, Chow?
Mr. Chow: I'm an international criminal, it always ends like this.

Phil Wenneck: Tracy, it's Phil.
Tracy Garner: Phil, where the hell are you guys?
Phil Wenneck: We lost Doug.
Tracy Garner: What? We're getting married in five hours.
Phil Wenneck: Yeah... that's not gonna happen.

Alan Garner: Who's baby is that?
Phil Wenneck: We'll deal with the baby later.
Stu Price: We're not gonna leave a baby in the room. There's a tiger in the bathroom!

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