Honey, whatcha doing? These guys don't use doors.

Rick

[after a shipwreck]
Beni: Hey, O'Connell! It looks to me like I've got all the horses!
Rick: Hey, Beni! Looks to me like you're on the wrong side of the river!

[Evie is drunk]
Evelyn: You're wondering, "What is a place like me doing in a girl like this?"
Rick: Yeah, something like that.

Evelyn: No harm ever came from opening a chest
Rick: Yeah, right, and no harm ever came from reading a book. You remember how that one went?

Evelyn: You lied to me.
Jonathan: I lie to everybody. What makes you so special?
Evelyn: I am your sister.
Jonathan: Yes, well that just makes you more gullible.

Rick: Right, she's a reincarnated princess and I'm a warrior for God?
Ardeth Bay: And your son leads the way to Ahm Shere. Three sides of the pyramid. This was all preordained thousands of years ago.
Evelyn: But how does the story end?
Ardeth Bay: Only the journey is written, not the destination.
Rick: Convenient.

Evelyn: Look, I... I may not be an explorer, or an adventurer, or a treasure-seeker, or a gunfighter, Mr. O'Connell, but I am proud of what I am.
Rick: And what is that?
Evelyn: I... am a librarian.

[to Rick] You guys are like mummy magnets!

Jonathan Carnahan

Pilot: I'd tell you to fasten your seatbelts, but it was too cheap to buy any! Ha ha ha!
Rick O'Connell: Ha ha ha! Why am I laughing?

I hate mummies. They never play fair.

Jonathan Carnahan

Evelyn: You were actually at Hamunaptra?
Rick: Yeah, I was there.
Evelyn: You swear?
Rick: Every damn day.

It is better to be the right hand of the devil than in his path.

Beni

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