Rick: Alex?
Alex: What were you thinking, a mummy had come back to life?
Rick: I'll tell you a story some time.

Evelyn: Alex, I'm serious, if you've lost that key, you're grounded.
Alex: I haven't lost it, I just can't find it. There's a difference.

Knowing my brother-in-law, he probably deserves whatever you're about to do to him. But this is my house. I have certain rules about snakes and dismemberment.


Rick: What'd you do this time?
Jonathan: Well, I haven't done anything to anybody.
[bullets fly through the door]
Jonathan: ...lately.

Rick: Okay - you're here, the bad guys are here, Evy's been kidnapped. Let me guess...
Ardeth Bay: Yes, they once again removed the creature from his grave.
Jonathan: I don't mean to point fingers, but isn't it your job to make sure that doesn't happen?

Izzy: O'Connell, if you give me that gold stick there, you can shave my head, wax my legs, and use me for a surfboard.
Rick: Didn't we do that in Tripoli?

Jonathan: Pull me up. Pull me up.
[he sees the huge diamond on top of the pyramid]
Jonathan: Wait, wait. Let me down. Let me down.
Rick: It's not worth your life, you idiot.
Jonathan: Yes, it is. Yes, it is.

Rick: [talking about Alex] I swear that kid gets more and more like you every day.
Evelyn: You mean more attractive, sweet and devilishly charming?
Rick: No. He's driving me crazy.

Evelyn: Would you like to know what heaven looks like?
Rick: Later.

Alex: [trying to start the car] Come on, come on!
[Johnathan turns the key and breaks it off]
Alex: You broke it, you broke it, you broke it!
Jonathan: Be quiet Alex! If there's going to be any hysterics, they'll come from me!

[Evelyn has just kicked a poisonous snake towards Rick]
Rick: Those are poisonous, you know.
Evelyn: Only if they bite you.

Rick: You know, it's not easy being a... dad.
Alex: Yeah. But you do it real good.

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