Favorite The Simpsons Quotes
[flipping frantically through the Bible] This book doesn't have any answers!Homer Simpson
Todd Flanders: I wish Homer was my father.
Ned Flanders: ...and I wish you didn't have the devil's curly hair.
Hello, I'm Tom Hanks. The US Government has lost its credibility so it's borrowing some of mine.Tom Hanks
This is Tom Hanks saying if you see me in person, please, leave me be.Tom Hanks
[Homer is whipping the dogs pulling his sled]
Homer Simpson: Run! Run! Run! Run! Run! Run!
[the dogs jump over a cliff]
Homer Simpson: Jump! Jump!
[the dogs land on the other side]
Homer Simpson: Land! Land!
[the dogs take a breather]
Homer Simpson: Rest! Rest!
[the dogs pull the sled again]
Homer Simpson: Run! Run!
[Homer sets up camp and begins removing the dog muzzles]
Homer Simpson: Okay, I know we've had a rough day, but I'm sure we can put that all behind us and...
[the dogs start attacking Homer, causing him to scream in pain]
Homer Simpson: AGH! Not my whipping arm!
[the dogs leave Homer stranded]
Homer Simpson: Why does everything I whip leave me?
Ned Flanders: Thank you, Lord, for this bountiful...
Ned Flanders: [screams]
Ned Flanders: PENIS!
Rod Flanders, Todd Flanders: [devoutly] ... bountiful penis.
Todd Flanders: Amen.
Smithers... I don't believe in suicide, but if you'd like to try it, it might cheer me up to watch.Montgomery Burns
[in the voice of a cartoon mouse] I'm the mascot of an evil corporation!Bart Simpson
Marge Simpson: Thanks for coming over.
Comic Book Guy: [happily] Thanks for giving me your pregnancy pants; I've never known comfort like this.
Marge Simpson: Homer, you have to go out there, face that mob, and apologize for what you did.
Homer Simpson: I would, but I'm afraid if I open the door, they'll take all of you!
Carl: No we won't. We just want Homer!
Homer Simpson: Well, maybe not you, but they'll kill Grandpa!
Grampa: I'm part of the mob!
Homer Simpson: Okay, son. You have only one chance to throw that bomb through the hole.
Bart Simpson: Dad, in case I don't make it, I'm sorry I said I wish you weren't my dad.
Homer Simpson: I don't blame you, son. I've never been that good of a father. Maybe it all starts with the way my father raised me. Yes, it's all clear to me. It's all just been one long, unbroken chain of...
Marge Simpson: Somebody throw the goddamn bomb!
If you can find a greasier sandwich, you're in Mexico!Krusty the Clown