[flipping frantically through the Bible] This book doesn't have any answers!

Homer Simpson

Hello, I'm Tom Hanks. The US Government has lost its credibility so it's borrowing some of mine.

Tom Hanks

Homer Simpson: I'll let you hold the bomb...
Bart Simpson: The man knows me!

Ned Flanders: Thank you, Lord, for this bountiful...
Ned Flanders: [screams]
Ned Flanders: PENIS!
Rod Flanders, Todd Flanders: [devoutly] ... bountiful penis.
Todd Flanders: Amen.

[Homer is whipping the dogs pulling his sled]
Homer Simpson: Run! Run! Run! Run! Run! Run!
[the dogs jump over a cliff]
Homer Simpson: Jump! Jump!
[the dogs land on the other side]
Homer Simpson: Land! Land!
[the dogs take a breather]
Homer Simpson: Rest! Rest!
[the dogs pull the sled again]
Homer Simpson: Run! Run!
[Homer sets up camp and begins removing the dog muzzles]
Homer Simpson: Okay, I know we've had a rough day, but I'm sure we can put that all behind us and...
[the dogs start attacking Homer, causing him to scream in pain]
Homer Simpson: AGH! Not my whipping arm!
[the dogs leave Homer stranded]
Homer Simpson: Why does everything I whip leave me?

This is Tom Hanks saying if you see me in person, please, leave me be.

Tom Hanks

Todd Flanders: I wish Homer was my father.
Ned Flanders: ...and I wish you didn't have the devil's curly hair.

Smithers... I don't believe in suicide, but if you'd like to try it, it might cheer me up to watch.

Montgomery Burns

We have a great life here in Alaska, and we're never going back to America again!

Homer Simpson

[while choking Bart for laughing at him] I'll teach you to laugh at something that's funny!

Homer Simpson

If you can find a greasier sandwich, you're in Mexico!

Krusty the Clown

[in the voice of a cartoon mouse] I'm the mascot of an evil corporation!

Bart Simpson

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