Loki: The last four days on Earth. If I had a dick, I'd go get laid. But we can do that next best thing.
Bartleby: What's that?
Loki: Let's kill people.

I have issues with anyone who treats faith as a burden instead of a blessing. You people don't celebrate your faith; you mourn it.

Serendipity

When are you people going to learn? It's not about who's right or wrong. No denomination's nailed it yet, and they never will because they're all too self-righteous to realize that it doesn't matter what you have faith in, just that you have faith. Your hearts are in the right place, but your brains need to wake up.

Serendipity

Church laws are fallible because they're created by man.

Loki

Bartleby: You know, here's what I don't get about you. You know for a fact that there is a God. You have been in his presence. He's spoken to you personally, and yet I just heard you claim to be an atheist.
Loki: I just like to fuck with the clergy, man. I just love it. I just love to keep those guys on their toes.

Leave it to the Catholics to destroy existence.

Serendipity

Jay: So what's up? You got a friend for Silent Bob, or are you just gonna do us both? If so, I'm first. I hate sloppy seconds.
Bethany: You're a man of principle.

Bethany: You were martyred?
Rufus: That's one way of putting it. Another way of putting it would be to say that I was bludgeoned to death by huge fucking rocks.

Tell a person that you're the Metatron and they stare at you blankly. Mention something out of a Charlton Heston movie and suddenly everybody is a theology scholar.

Metatron

Bethany: You knew Jesus?
Rufus: Knew him? Shit... Nigga owes me 12 bucks.

Loki: Never let it be said that your anal-retentive attention to detail never yielded positive results.
Bartleby: You can't be anal-retentive if you don't have an anus.
Loki: Outstanding work.

Bethany: What are you doing?
Jay: Proving to this bastard I ain't gay.
Bethany: What?
Rufus: Long story, forget it.

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