Favorite View Askew-niverse Quotes
Yo, you guys are gonna miss this shit! The big guy's gonna cornhole that ass! With his weiner!Jay
Dante Hicks: Can you feel it?
Randal Graves: Feel what?
Dante Hicks: Today is the first day of the rest of our lives.
I'm gonna kick your ass back to the Shire if you don't shut your fucking mouth.Hobbit Lover
Randal Graves: Ladies and gentlemen, and you, Elias! Straight from the debauchery capital of the world, TI-juana Mexico!
Dante Hicks: Oh, God, no.
Randal Graves: Oh, God, yes!
Fuck off with your D&D GoBot bullshit.Randal Graves
What'd you do that for? You realize he just thinks you're trying to get him into a threeway with us now, don't you?Dante Hicks
Veronica Loughran: Hi, Randal.
Randal Graves: Thirty-seven?
Dante Hicks: Shut up!
I got to rent movies, fuck with assholes, and hang out with my best friend, Dante.Randal Graves
Melodrama coming from you is about as natural as a oral bowel movement.Randal Graves
Caitlin Bree: Can I use the bathroom?
Randal Graves: Sure, but there's no light back there.
Caitlin Bree: Why aren't there any lights?
Randal Graves: Well, there are, but for some reason they stop working at 5:14 every night. Nobody can figure it out. And the boss doesn't want to pay the electrician to fix it, because the electrician owes money to the video store.
Caitlin Bree: Such a sordid state of affairs.
Randal Graves: And I'm caught right in the middle - torn between my loyalty to the boss and my desire to piss with the lights on.
Caitlin Bree: Well, I'll try to manage.
Randal Graves: Oh, hey Caitlin, break his heart again this time, and I'll kill ya. Nothing personal.
My mom's been fuckin' a dead guy for 30 years. I call him dad.Randal Graves
I've had some girlfriends too, but all they wanted from me was weed and shit.Jay