Popular View Askew-niverse Quotes
Jay: Yo man, tell me something about me.
Rufus: You masturbate more than anyone on the planet.
Jay: Aww, fuck, everyone knows that. Tell me something nobody knows.
Rufus: When you do it, you're thinking about guys.
[shocked Silent Bob stares at Jay]
Jay: Dude, not all the time.
That guy's being awfully forward with that donkey.Jay
[wasted] I hope that donkey doesn't have a heinie troll!Elias
Randal Graves: You're in the bestiality business.
Sexy Stud: Hey. Fucko. We like to call it inter-species erotica.
Randal Graves: Intriguing.
Randal Graves: That look was so gay, I thought Sam was gonna tell the little Hobbits to go for a walk so he could saunter over to Frodo and suck his fucking cock. Now that would have been an Academy Award-worthy ending.
Hobbit Lover: Hey, faggot! They're not gay. They're hobbits.
Elias: Fuck Pillowpants! Honk if you love or like pussy!
Jay: [Looks at Silent Bob] Yo, we love pussy!
Randal Graves. You work here too? Jesus, anyone else from our graduating class back there?Lance Dowds
Teen #1: You holding?
Jay: Shit, everything except coke, heroin, and your cock!
Dante Hicks: The guy's in a wheelchair.
Randal Graves: I know. That's why I call him "crippie-boy."
Randal Graves: 17-year-olds nowadays are crazy. They're up for anything. They even like it when you go ass to mouth.
Dante Hicks: You never go ass to mouth, Randal.
Randal Graves: It's never my idea!
I was taking a piss when I heard the news, congratulations!Jay
Elias: The Transformers are a gift from God, Randal!
Randal Graves: Oh no, sir. The Transformers are a curse from the beast we call The Desolate One.