Mike Lowrey: Please, man. Married life is easy. You only got one woman to satisfy.
Marcus Burnett: Yo, man, we ain't the Cosbys.

[to Fletch] If you don't sit your lanky ass down right now, bottom-line, I will knock you the fuck out.

Marcus Burnett

Mike Lowrey: Hey, hey, what's this having-a-picnic shit in my car?
Marcus Burnett: Look man, I ain't getting my sex at home, OK? Don't deny me this.
Mike Lowrey: What are you talking about, man? You sleep with a beautiful woman everyday.
Marcus Burnett: I'm married. That's what married means. It means you sleep together, but you can't get none.

Mike Lowrey: [while looking at a photo album with Marcus's wife, Theresa and answers the phone, which Marcus dials] Hey, is this you, man?
Theresa Burnett: No, no. Put that back in, c'mon put that back in.

Ferguson: [as Julie reaches into her bra for a hidden handcuff key] What you got an itch? I'd love to scratch it.
Julie Mott: [gives Ferguson the finger] Scratch this, okay?
Ferguson: Yeah I'll scratch anything you want to you blue-eyed bitch.
Julie Mott: Did you go to college?

Mike Lowrey: What the hell are you doin'?
Marcus Burnett: Keepin' my shit quick.
Mike Lowrey: Oh, I see. You aren't gettin any at home, so you got a lot of extra energy. Go ahead, burn it off.

Jesus. Could you use a smaller gun? You got blood on me again.

Casper

You know you drive almost slow enough to drive Miss Daisy.

Mike Lowrey

You know I'm a better cop when I get some in the morning, I feel lighter on my feet.

Marcus Burnett

This is bad. No, let me call it what is. This is fucked up.

Marcus Burnett

Do you see the fuckin' emotion I'm goin' through right now? That means this shit is serious. That means me and this motherfucker's not vibin' right now. That's what that shit means.

Marcus Burnett

I don't know why you going home to your wife. You got shot in the leg, your dick probably don't even work.

Mike Lowrey

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