Simon: Where are my pigeons now?
Inspector Cobb: Pigeons?
Simon: I had two pigeons, bright and gay, fly for me the other day. Why is it they did go? You cannot tell, you do not know.
Inspector Cobb: You mean McClane?
Simon: No, I mean Santa Claus.

Simon: [on phone] Rear guard, you can close up now.
[pauses, not getting an answer]
Simon: We've reached the dam, you can come up now...
[no answer]
Simon: Nils? You can close in now. Nils?
John McClane: [on the guard's phone] Attention! Attention! Nils is dead! I repeat, Nils is dead, fuckhead. So's his pal, and those four guys from the East German All-Stars, your boys at the bank? They're gonna be a little late.
Simon: John... in the back of the truck you're driving, there's $13 billion dollars worth of gold bullion. I wonder would a deal be out of the question?
John McClane: Yeah, I got a deal for you. Come out from that rock you're hiding under, and I'll drive this truck up your ass.
Simon: How colorful.

Zeus: Well, at least I'm gonna die rich.
John McClane: I've got bad news for ya, you're only dying with me.
Zeus: How the hell do you know?
John McClane: I know the man, I know the family. The only thing better than blowing up $100 billion worth of gold is making people think you did.

John McClane: You know how to hot-wire this thing?
Zeus: Of course I can, I'm an electrician. Only problem is... it takes too fuckin' long.

Zeus: How do Catholics do their thing?
John McClane: North, South, West, East.

Yesterday we were an army with no country, and tomorrow we must decide which country we want to buy!


Say hello to your brother.

John McClane

Ricky Walsh: Next, 14 dumptrucks stolen from a yard in Staten Island. Fourteen! Jesus! Somebody starting a construction company?
Joe Lambert: No, it's John's landlady - gonna clean up his apartment.

John McClane: You know that bomb I said they found up in Harlem?
Zeus: Yeah, what about it?
John McClane: Well, I kind of lied. They found it down in Chinatown.
Zeus: Oh that's low, man.

Zeus: Wait a minute, wait a minute, it's a trick! I forgot about the man.
John McClane: Man? What man? Fuck the man! I got 10 seconds here!
Zeus: The riddle begins, "As I was going to St. Ives, I met a man with seven wives!"
John McClane: So?
Zeus: So, the guy and his wives aren't going anywhere.
John McClane: What are they doing?
Zeus: Sitting in the fucking road! Waiting on the moors! How the hell should I know?

Zeus: Morning.
John McClane: Good morning.
Zeus: You having a nice day, sir? You feeling all right? Not to get too personal, but a white man standing in the middle of Harlem wearing a sign that says "I hate niggers" has got some serious personal issues, or not all his dogs are barking.
John McClane: [yawns]
Zeus: Hey! I'm talking to you! Now you've got about ten seconds before those guys see you, and when they do they will kill you. Do you understand? You're about to have a very bad day.
John McClane: Tell me about it.

Dr. Schiller: Yes I was saying that we're dealing with a megalomaniacal personality with possible paranoid schizo...
John McClane: Hey, hey! How 'bout you just skip down to the part where you tell me what the fuck this has to do with me.

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