Said Simple Simon to the pieman going to the fair, "Give me your pies... or I'll cave your head in."

Simon

John McClane: Hey, can you pick locks?
Zeus: Is this one of those black things again?

John McClane: You know, you're the first woman since Holly to see me do this.
Connie Kowalski: I'm honored...
John McClane: Yeah, so was she.

Is it hot in here, or am I just scared to death?

John McClane

Zeus: See, I told you Park Drive was jammed!
John McClane: I didn't say through Park Drive.

Zeus: Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! I'm not going anywhere.
Inspector Cobb: Simon says you got to go.
Zeus: I'm not jumping through hoops for some psycho! That's a white man, with white problems. You deal with him. Call me when he crosses 110th Street.

Inspector Cobb: We'll be back to pick you up in 15 minutes.
John McClane: Take your time. I expect to be dead in four.

Money means shit to me. I would not give up McClane for all the gold in your Fort Knox.

Simon

Simon: Where are my pigeons now?
Inspector Cobb: Pigeons?
Simon: I had two pigeons, bright and gay, fly for me the other day. Why is it they did go? You cannot tell, you do not know.
Inspector Cobb: You mean McClane?
Simon: No, I mean Santa Claus.

Simon: [on phone] Rear guard, you can close up now.
[pauses, not getting an answer]
Simon: We've reached the dam, you can come up now...
[no answer]
Simon: Nils? You can close in now. Nils?
John McClane: [on the guard's phone] Attention! Attention! Nils is dead! I repeat, Nils is dead, fuckhead. So's his pal, and those four guys from the East German All-Stars, your boys at the bank? They're gonna be a little late.
Simon: John... in the back of the truck you're driving, there's $13 billion dollars worth of gold bullion. I wonder would a deal be out of the question?
John McClane: Yeah, I got a deal for you. Come out from that rock you're hiding under, and I'll drive this truck up your ass.
Simon: How colorful.

Zeus: Well, at least I'm gonna die rich.
John McClane: I've got bad news for ya, you're only dying with me.
Zeus: How the hell do you know?
John McClane: I know the man, I know the family. The only thing better than blowing up $100 billion worth of gold is making people think you did.

John McClane: You know how to hot-wire this thing?
Zeus: Of course I can, I'm an electrician. Only problem is... it takes too fuckin' long.

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