That's what you get! Ha Ha! Look at you! Ship's all banged up! Who's the man? Huh? Who's the man? Wait till I get another plane! I'm a line ya friends up right beside you! Where ya at, huh? Where ya at?

Captain Steven Hiller

[punches out alien] Welcome to earth.

Captain Steven Hiller

If I had known I was gonna meet the president, I would've worn a tie. Look at me, I look like a schliemiel.

Julius Levinson

Gen. Gray: Are you all right?
President Thomas Whitmore: I saw... its thoughts. I saw what they're planning to do. They're like locusts. They're moving from planet to planet... their whole civilization. After they've consumed every natural resource, they move on... and we're next. Nuke 'em. Let's nuke the bastards.

Everyone's trying to get out of Washington, and we're the only schmucks trying to get in.

Julius Levinson

If you're so smart, tell me something, how come you go to M.I.T. for 8 years to become a cable repairman?

Julius Levinson

Captain Steven Hiller: Oops.
David Levinson: What do you mean, oops?
Captain Steven Hiller: Some jerk put this...
David Levinson: Don't say "oops" ...
Captain Steven Hiller: What do you say we try that again?
David Levinson: Yes, yes. Yes. Without the "oops." Thataway.

Captain Steven Hiller: I ain't heard no fat lady!
David Levinson: Forget the fat lady. You're obsessed with fat lady. Just get us out of here!

David Levinson: You really think you can fly that thing?
Captain Steven Hiller: You really think you can do all that bullshit you just said?

David Levinson: They're chasing us!
Captain Steven Hiller: Really, you think?

I picked a helluva day to quit drinkin'.

Russel Casse

Russel Casse: In the words of my generation: Up yours!

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