Look, I'm just a biochemist. Most of the time, I work in a little glass jar and lead a very uneventful life. I drive a Volvo, a beige one. But what I'm dealing with here is one of the most deadly substances the earth has ever known, so what say you cut me some FRIGGIN' SLACK?

Stanley Goodspeed

Captain Darrow: Excuse me, general... but what about the fucking money?
General Hummel: There is no fucking money. The mission's over.
Captain Frye: Bull shit it's over.
Major Tom Baxter: You're talking to a General, soldier. Maintain discipline.
Captain Darrow: I'm not a soldier, Major. The day we took hostages, we became... mercenaries. And mercenaries get paid. I want my fucking money.

John Mason: I want a suite, a shower, a shave, the feel of a suit.
Stanley Goodspeed: May I also suggest a haircut?
John Mason: Am I out of style?
Stanley Goodspeed: Unless you're a 20 year old guitarist from Seattle. It's a grunge thing.

FBI Director Womack: Just clippers, no scissors.
Paul the Hotel Barber: No scissors, you've got to be kidding me, no scissors. I mean, did they tell Picasso "no brush"?
FBI Director Womack: With scissors, this man could kill you.
John Mason: I can't cut off anyone's balls with a trimmer, now can I? Why don't we do this outside? Get some sun.

Welcome to the Rock!

John Mason

Captain Frye: You changed the coordinates, didn't you, General?
General Hummel: That's affirmative, Captain.
Sergeant Crisp: So now they think we're gutless, the feds? They think we won't actually do it?
Captain Frye: They're going to come at us with everything they got. Air and sea. They're going to bomb our ass back to the Stone Age.
Major Tom Baxter: They don't know we missed on purpose.
Captain Frye: Great. We're not gutless, we're incompetent.

John Mason: What exactly does this stuff do?
Stanley Goodspeed: If the rocket renders it aerosol, it could take out the entire city of people.
John Mason: Really? And what happens if you drop one?
Stanley Goodspeed: Happily, it'd just wipe out you and me.
John Mason: How?
Stanley Goodspeed: It's a cholinesterase inhibitor. Stops the brain from sending nerve messages down the spinal cord within thirty seconds. Any epidermal exposure or inhalation and you'll know. A twinge at the small of your back as the poison seizes your nervous system...

John Mason: Timeo Danaos et dona ferentes.
Stanley Goodspeed: "I fear the Greeks even when they bring gifts."
John Mason: Ah, an educated man. That, of course, rules out the possibility of you being a field agent.

How, in the name of Zeus's butthole, did you get out of your cell?

Stanley Goodspeed

All right, I'll do it myself. I've had three weeks weapons training, I'll kick the... out of a platoon full of marines. No problem.

Stanley Goodspeed

What do you say we cut the chit-chat, a-hole?

Stanley Goodspeed

Kid On Bike: Hey man, you just fucked up your Ferrari!
Stanley Goodspeed: It's not mine. Neither's this.
[steals bike]

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