Jimmy: I want to give you something.
Louise: Give it to me here.
Jimmy: [pulls out at engagement ring] Why don't you try it on? You didn't see that one coming, did you?
Louise: Why Jimmy? Why now?
Jimmy: Try not to get too excited, Louise. I just flew across two states with that ring in my fuckin' hand, and uh... You know I hate to fly.

Louise: Remember when we first met?
Jimmy: Yeah.
Louise: What happened? Tell me what you said.
Jimmy: I said you had a nice pair of eyes.
Louise: And what did I say? You remember?
Jimmy: Yeah, you shut 'em. Asked me if I knew what color they were?
Louise: And what's you say?
Jimmy: I didn't know.
Louise: Jimmy, what color are my eyes?
Jimmy: They're brown.

Louise Sawyer: Decaf or regular?
Girl in diner: Uh, regular, please.
Louise Sawyer: You girls are kinda young to be smokin', dontcha think? Ruins your sex drive.

State Trooper: [sobbing] Please! I have a wife and kids.
Thelma: Oh really, well, you're lucky. You be sweet to them, especially your wife. My husband wasn't sweet to me. Look how I turned out.

Thelma: Louise, shoot the radio
Louise: [she fires at the radio]
Thelma: The POLICE radio, Louise!

Stanley Goodspeed: Why didn't you just tell them were the microfilm was and create a solution?
John Mason: The moment they had the microfilm, they'd suicide me. Some solution.

Paul the Barber: Okay, I don't want to know nothing. I never saw you throw that gentleman off the balcony... All I care about is: are you happy with your haircut?

General Hummel: Do you know who I am? Did they tell you why I am doing this? Why I am out here? Or are they using you like they did everybody else?
John Mason: All I know is that you were big in Vietnam. I saw the highlights on television.
General Hummel: Then you probably have got no fucking idea what it means to lead some of the finest gentlemen on God's earth into combat and then watch their memories get betrayed by their own damn government.
John Mason: I don't quite see how you can cherrish the memory of the dead by killing another million. This is not combat, it's an act of lunacy, General Sir. Personally, I think you're a fucking idiot.

General Hummel: "The tree of liberty must be refreshed from time to time with the blood of patriots and tyrants." Thomas Jefferson.
John Mason: "Patriotism is a virtue of the vicious," according to Oscar Wilde.

General Hummel: Where're the guidance chips?
John Mason: I destroyed them.
General Hummel: That's a bad move, soldier!
John Mason: Does that mean you'll execute us both?

Honey? Uh... You wanna know who really killed JFK?

Stanley Goodspeed

Chief of Staff Hayden Sinclair: Southern China? We've never even admitted we sent troops into China!
General Hummel: Who is this? Identify yourself!
Chief of Staff Hayden Sinclair: This is White House Chief of Staff Hayden Sinclair, General.
General Hummel: How OLD are you Mr. Sinclair?
Chief of Staff Hayden Sinclair: I'm 33.
General Hummel: Well Mr. Sinclair, you've probably got no FUCKING idea what I'm talking about! By your 9th birthday, I was running BlackOps into China and my men were responsible for over 200 enemy kills! Now someone put some friggin tape over Mr. Sinclair's mouth, he's wasting my time!

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