Shorty, where's my razor?

Indiana Jones

Chad: Starfish, I would just like to say that I'm honored, honored to see you taking an interest in my work and I also think you're very pretty and... (sees girls getting scuba gear on) Starfish? Where are you going? Starfish are you going swimming? Where are you going? Where are you going again Starfish? Was it the Chad?
Dylan: No the Chad was great.
Chad: The Chad was great.

The greatest con, that he ever pulled... was making you believe... that he is you.

Avi

The more they overthink the plumbing, the easier it is to stop up the drain.

Scotty

I'm just a little anxious to get up there and whoop E.T.'s ass.

Captain Steven Hiller

[to Sphinx] Damn it's cold up here, they keep these Ferrari's refrigerated? And you know black people don't like cold weather, we're tropical people. Man, when this is over I'm gonna smoke a joint, watch two hours of Roots and I'm gonna KICK YOUR ASS!

Mirror Man

Death is but a doorway, time is but a window, I'll be back.

Vigo

Professor Henry Jones: Elsa never really believed in the grail. She thought she'd found a prize.
Indiana Jones: And what did you find, Dad?
Professor Henry Jones: Me? Illumination.

Psychologist: I'm going to say a word, and I want you to say the first word that comes into your head. For example, if I say, 'day,' you say...
James Bond: Wasted.
Psychologist: Agent.
James Bond: Provocateur.
Psychologist: Woman?
James Bond: Provocatrix.
Psychologist: M.
James Bond: Bitch.
Psychologist: Gun.
James Bond: Shot.
Psychologist: Murder.
James Bond: Occupation.
Psychologist: Country.
James Bond: England.
Psychologist: Skyfall.
Psychologist: Skyfall.
James Bond: Done.

Oh god, I hope they bring back Elvis.

Elvis Fanatic

Do not become addicted to water, it will take hold of you and you will resent its absence.

Immortan Joe

Everyone's trying to get out of Washington, and we're the only schmucks trying to get in.

Julius Levinson

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