Once again, the L.A.P.D. is asking Los Angelenos not to fire their guns at the visitor spacecraft. You may inadvertently trigger an interstellar war.

Video Newscaster

Good God...I'm on Mars.

John Carter

Memphis: Roger, I have a problem...
Roger the Car Salesman: Yes?
Memphis: I've been in L.A. for three months now. I have money, I have taste. But I'm not on anybody's "A" list, and Saturday night is the loneliest night for the week for me.
Roger the Car Salesman: Well, a Ferrari would certainly change that.
Memphis: Perhaps, Mmmm. But, you know, this is the one. Yes, yes yes... I saw three of these parked outside the local Starbucks this morning, which tells me only one thing. There's too many self-indulgent wieners in this city with too much bloody money! Now, if I was driving a 1967 275 GTB four-cam...
Roger the Car Salesman: You would not be a self-indulgent wiener, sir... You'd be a connoisseur.
Memphis: Precisely. Champagne would fall from the heavens. Doors would open. Velvet ropes would part.

We're not hit! We're not hit! Stop side-seat driving!

Captain Steven Hiller

You're sweating like a human... next it will be tears.

Hades

King Dingaling.

Mike Lowrey

Jesus Paul! Why don't you just fucking rape me?

Macha

We are the two rats left. We can either eat each other, huh, or eat everyone else.

Raoul Silva

Thelma: You're a real live outlaw, aren't ya?
J.D.: Well I may be an outlaw, darlin', but you're the one stealing my heart.

It's damn hard to shoot down the enemy 100 miles behind the front lines.

Colonel A.J. Bullard

Ethan Hunt: Who are you really, Brandt?
Brandt: We all have our secrets. Don't we, Ethan?

Robin: [checking out the Batmobile] I want a car, chicks dig the car.
Batman: This is why Superman works alone.

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