Convenience Store Clerk: I thought you guys just ate doughnuts.
Sergeant Al Powell: Heh. They're for my wife.

[over the CB] All right, listen up guys. 'Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the house, not a creature was stirring, except for the four assholes coming in the rear in standard two-by-two cover formation.


Hans Gruber: You *can* unlock the vault, can't you?
Theo: You didn't bring me along for my charming personality.

Welcome to the party pal.

John McClane

Ginny: Woah. That guy looks *really* pissed.
Holly Gennero McClane: He's still alive.
Ginny: What?
Holly Gennero McClane: Only John can drive somebody that crazy.

[talking to himself] Why the fuck didn't you stop them, John? Because then you'd be dead, too, asshole.

John McClane

John McClane: So this is what it's about, Hans? A fucking robbery?
Hans Gruber: Well, when you steal $600, you can just disappear. But when you steal $600 million, they will find you, unless they think you're already dead.

John McClane: You would have made a pretty good cowboy yourself, Hans.
Hans Gruber: What was it you said to me earlier? "Yippie-kay-ya, motherfucker."

[to Karl] You should have heard your brother squeal when I broke his fucking neck.

John McClane

Hey, sprechen ze talk?

Harry Ellis

Dwayne T. Robinson: I got a hundred people down here and they're all covered in glass.
John McClane: Glass? Who gives a shit about glass? Who the fuck is this?
Dwayne T. Robinson: This is Deputy Chief Dwayne T. Robinson, and I am in charge here.
John McClane: Oh you're in charge? Well I got news for you *Dwayne*, from up here it doesn't look like you're in charge of jack shit.
Dwayne T. Robinson: You listen to me you little asshole.
John McClane: Asshole? I'm not the one who just got butt-fucked on national TV, Dwayne.

Argyle: So, why didn't you come with her man? What's up?
John McClane: 'Cause I'm a New York cop. I got a six-month backlog on New York scumbags I'm still trying to put behind bars. I can't just pick up and go that easy.

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