After hearing gunshots "Yeah that's one weird sounding bazooka"

Frank D'Amico

Dave Lizewski: V.O Kick-ass was gone not forgotten, they said he inspired people, but all he did was make a door into a world of
Chris D'Amico: superheroes (Red Mist is seen reading his computer, he turns around and puts on his new mask) "Wait til they get a load of me"

Diner Fight Guy 1: ~ the fuck is wrong with you, man? You rather die for some piece of shit that you don't even fucking know?
Dave Lizewski: And three assholes, laying it in one guy while everyone else watches?
[reaches for air]
Dave Lizewski: And you wanna know what's wrong with me? Yeah, I'd rather die... so bring it on!

[being fired upon by a Predator drone]
Lt. Templeton 'Faceman' Peck: What the Hell was that?
Capt. 'Howling Mad' Murdock: If you look out the right hand side of the aircraft you will notice that the right wing is on fire.

I love it when a plan comes together.

Col. John 'Hannibal' Smith

Lt. Templeton 'Faceman' Peck: This is beyond nuts, boss.
Col. John 'Hannibal' Smith: It gets better.
Capt. 'Howling Mad' Murdock: Now we're talkin'.

Sgt. Bosco 'B.A.' Baracus: Aw hell naw, I ain't steppin' foot in any type of aircraft
Lt. Templeton 'Faceman' Peck: Man up! Now get in there, we've gotta finish the escape! Man up and get in there!

Give me a minute, I'm good. Give my team an hour, we're unbeatable.

Col. John 'Hannibal' Smith

I'm BA, and you're gonna be unconcious.

Sgt. Bosco 'B.A.' Baracus

They are the best and they specialise in the ridiculous!

Capt. Charisa Sosa

Lt. Templeton 'Faceman' Peck: Where's the plan boss?
Col. John 'Hannibal' Smith: You actually sound worried.

Lt. Templeton 'Faceman' Peck: This is a heck of a beautiful place. Is this a timeshare, I'd like to get into...
[gets Punched in the face by soldier]
Lt. Templeton 'Faceman' Peck: Good morning!

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