Hale Caesar: Great, they got a small army. What have we got?
[looks at Yin Yang]
Hale Caesar: Four and a half men.
[Everyone but Yin Yang laughs]
Yin Yang: Not so funny.

Trench: Give this job to my friend, he loves playing in the jungle.
Barney Ross: Right.
Mr. Church: [Trench leaves] What's his fucking problem?
Barney Ross: He wants to become president.

I absolve you of all your sins. Now get the fuck out.

Padre Benito del Toro

Machete don't text.

Machete

We didn't cross the border. The border crossed us.

Sartana

Sartana: I thought Machete don't text.
Machete: Machete improvises.

Frank Moses: Kordeski trained you?
William Cooper: Yeah?
Frank Moses: I trained Kordeski.

Marvin Boggs: [from trailer ] Why are you trying to kill me?
Frank Moses: Look, why would I be trying to kill you?
Marvin Boggs: Because last time we met, I tried to kill you.
Frank Moses: That was a long time ago.
Marvin Boggs: Some people hold on to things like that.

Frank Moses: [Marvin has just shot a bad guy] Feel better?
Marvin Boggs: Yeah. You guys want to get pancakes?

[after destroying a missile by shooting a bullet at it] Old man, my ass!

Marvin Boggs

Marvin Boggs: I remember the Secret Service being tougher.
Victoria: Me too.

Can I kill her *now*?

Marvin Boggs

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