You shoot off a guy's head with his pants down, believe me, Texas ain't the place you want to get caught.

Louise Sawyer

Louise: Get off her or I'm gonna splatter your brains all over this nice car.
Harlan: [Getting off of Thelma] Easy, we're just having a little fun.
Louise: Sounds like you got a real fucked up idea of fun. Turn around. In the future, when a woman's crying like that, she isn't having any fun!
Harlan: Bitch! I shoulda gone ahead and fucked her!
Louise: Why did you say?
Harlan: I said suck my cock.

In the future, when a woman is crying like that, she isn't having any fun.

Louise Sawyer

Thelma: You're a real live outlaw, aren't ya?
J.D.: Well I may be an outlaw, darlin', but you're the one stealing my heart.

Max: You know, the one thing I can't figure out are these girls real smart or real real lucky?
Hal Slocumb: Don't matter. Brains'll only get you so far and luck always runs out.

Besides, what are we gonna say about the robbery? There's no excuse for that, there's no such thing as justifiable robbery.

Louise Sawyer

Thelma: Are you sure we should be driving like this, I mean in broad daylight and everything?
Louise Sawyer: No we shouldn't, but I want to put some distance between us and the scene of our last goddamn crime.

I'm in deep shit; Deep Shit, Arkansas.

Louise

If she calls, just be gentle, you know? Like you're really happy to hear from her. Like you miss her. Women love that shit.

Max

I've had it up to my ass with sedate.

Thelma

I don't ever remember feeling this awake.

Thelma

J.D.: So, tell me something, Miss Thelma. How is it you ain't got any kids? I mean God gets you something special, I think you oughta pass it on.
Thelma: Well, Daryl, that's my husband.
J.D.: Daryl?
Thelma: Yeah, he says he's not ready yet. He says he's still too much of a kid himself. He kinda prides himself on being infantile.
Louise: He's got a lot to be proud of.
Thelma: Louise and him don't get along.
Louise: That's putting it mildly.
Thelma: She thinks he's a pig.
Louise: I KNOW he's a pig.

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