You know it's not easy being your friend.

Lee Christmas

Hale Caesar: What happened to you?
Barney Ross: I got my ass kicked.

You got a problem with that?

Mr. Church

Only thing you need to know is the job's real, and the money's real.

Mr. Church

Trench: Give this job to my friend here. He loves playing in the jungle, right?
Barney Ross: [sarcastically] Right.
Mr. Church: [referring to Trench, confused] What's his problem?

Dan Paine: Who sent you?
Barney Ross: [to the bald Dan Paine] Your hairdresser!

Pirate leader: Drop your guns!
Lee Christmas: Fat chance.
Barney Ross: Why do they always say that?

Gunnar Jensen:
[about to fight Bao Thao]
Gunnar Jensen: Bring it, "happy feet"!

Evelyn Salt: What is your name?
Orlov: My name is Vassily Orlov. Today, a Russian agent will travel to New York city to kill the President. This agent is KA-12.
Evelyn Salt: The KA program is a myth.
Orlov: Don't you want to know the name?
Evelyn Salt: You're good. You can tell the rest of your story to one of my colleagues.
Orlov: The name of the agent is Evelyn Salt.
Evelyn Salt: My name is Evelyn Salt.
Orlov: Then you are a Russian spy.

I believe no matter how random something may appear, there's still a plan.

Col. John 'Hannibal' Smith

Lt. Templeton 'Faceman' Peck: This is a heck of a beautiful place. Is this a timeshare, I'd like to get into...
[gets Punched in the face by soldier]
Lt. Templeton 'Faceman' Peck: Good morning!

Lt. Templeton 'Faceman' Peck: Where's the plan boss?
Col. John 'Hannibal' Smith: You actually sound worried.

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