[Explaining why the girls can't find their book "Three Little Kittens"] That book was accidentally destroyed maliciously...Gru
Curse you, tiny toilet!Vector
Gru: Your dog has been leaving bombs in my yard.
Fred McDade: Oh you know dogs... they go where they want!
Gru: Not if they're dead.
Gru: Do you speak Spanish?
Miss Hattie: Do I look like someone who speaks Spanish?
Gru: It's just that your face is so... Como es burro.
Miss Hattie: Oh! Why, thank you!
Edith: It was your cousin's idea!
Dave the Minion: *What*?
Gru: [to the girls] Did you brush your teeth?
[Takes a whiff]
Gru: You did *not*!
Dr. Nefario: Here's the new weapon you ordered.
[Shoots minion with the fart gun]
Gru: No, no, no. I said DART gun.
Dr. Nefario: Oh yes. Cause I was wondering... under what circumstances would we use this?
I shrink the moon, I grab the moon, I sit on the toilet bowl... what?Gru
[sees a child's drawing in his plans, of himself sitting on a toilet bowl]
We are going to pull of the TRUE crime of the century... we are going to steal the MOON!Gru
[Agnes looks at a fairground stall's prize, a unicorn plush toy]
Agnes: It's so fluffy, I'm gonna die!
[the sisters try their hand at the stall, but lose]
Gru: Okay, MY turn...
[pulls out a multi-barreled blaster that destroys the stall]
Gru: Knocked OVER!
Agnes: [cuddling her unicorn in ecstasy] It's so FLUFFY!
Gru: [to the girls] You will not cry, or sneeze or barf or fart! No annoying sounds.
Agnes: Does this count as annoying?
[puckles her cheeks]
Gru: We stole the Statue of Liberty...!
[the minions cheer]
Gru: ...the small one, from Las Vegas!
[the cheers stop]