Favorite Comedy Quotes
I believe "shaved" is the expression.Nadia
I don't want to waste another moment of my life without you in it.Andrew Largeman
Evan: You changed your name to McLovin?
Seth: It doesn't have a first name, it just says McLovin!
Evan: The guys either going think 'here's another guy with a fake ID', or here's McLovin, 25 year old Hawaiian organ donor.
Fogell: I am McLovin.
You're king Osama looks like a kind of dirty wizard, or a homeless Santa!BrÃ¼no
If you listen to DMX, the baby comes out goin 'Ennngghhh!Oscar
If only you knew how mean she really is... You'd know that I'm not allowed to wear hoop earrings, right? Yeah! Two years ago she told me hoops earrings were *her* thing and I wasn't allowed to wear them anymore. And then for Hannakuh my parents got this pair of really expensive white gold hoops and I had to pretend like I didn't even like them and... it was so sad. And you know she cheats on Aaron? Yes, every Thursday he thinks she's doing SAT prep but really she's hooking up with Shane Ohman in the projection room above the auditorium! I never told anybody that because I am *such* a good friend!Gretchen
How'd it go with your lady? Carve up any ice... With your weiner?Chazz
Nihilists! Fuck me. I mean, say what you like about the tenets of National Socialism, Dude, at least it's an ethos.Walter Sobchak
Listen to your friend Billy Zane, he's a cool dude!Hansel
[to the female student body] Okay, yeah. I've got an apology. So, I have this friend who is a new student this year. And I convinced her that it would be fun to mess up Regina George's life. So I had her pretend to be friends with Regina, and then she would come to my house after and we would just laugh about all the dumb stuff Regina said. And we gave these candy bar things that would make her gain weight, and then we turned her best friends against her. And then... Oh yeah, Cady - you know my friend Cady? She made out with her boyfriend, and we convinced him to break up with her. Oh, God, and we gave her foot cream instead of face wash. God! I am so sorry Regina. Really, I don't know why I did this. I guess it's probably because I've got a big *lesbian* crush on you! Suck on THAT!Janis
Billy Madison: Shampoo is better. I go on first and clean the hair. Conditioner is better. I leave the hair silky and smooth. Oh, really, fool? Really.
[Notices gold swan on edge of tub]
Billy Madison: Stop looking at me, swa
Kid on Bus: What are you gonna do today, Napoleon?
Napoleon Dynamite: Whatever I feel like I wanna do. Gosh!