Favorite Comedy Quotes
Kid on Bus: What are you gonna do today, Napoleon?
Napoleon Dynamite: Whatever I feel like I wanna do. Gosh!
Listen to your friend Billy Zane, he's a cool dude!Hansel
Korean Mother: Ling-Ling, You walk right by Crazy Nail. No say hi me.
Ling Ling: Hi mom.
I don't want to waste another moment of my life without you in it.Andrew Largeman
[to the female student body] Okay, yeah. I've got an apology. So, I have this friend who is a new student this year. And I convinced her that it would be fun to mess up Regina George's life. So I had her pretend to be friends with Regina, and then she would come to my house after and we would just laugh about all the dumb stuff Regina said. And we gave these candy bar things that would make her gain weight, and then we turned her best friends against her. And then... Oh yeah, Cady - you know my friend Cady? She made out with her boyfriend, and we convinced him to break up with her. Oh, God, and we gave her foot cream instead of face wash. God! I am so sorry Regina. Really, I don't know why I did this. I guess it's probably because I've got a big *lesbian* crush on you! Suck on THAT!Janis
You know the guy who can pick up any girl? I'm him. On crack.Nick Naylor
What don't I understand, Cara? Please, help me out. What is it? Is it frustrating that you can't be with this person? That there's something keeping you apart? That there's something about this person that you can connect with? And whenever you're near this person, you don't know what to say, and you say everything that's in your mind and in your heart, and you know that if you could just be together, that this person would help you become the best possible version of yourself?Dan Burns
Billy Madison: Shampoo is better. I go on first and clean the hair. Conditioner is better. I leave the hair silky and smooth. Oh, really, fool? Really.
[Notices gold swan on edge of tub]
Billy Madison: Stop looking at me, swa
How'd it go with your lady? Carve up any ice... With your weiner?Chazz
How many pots have you smoken?Andy Stitzer
I like her red hair. I wonder if the carpet matches her pubes.Surfing Instructor
Life moves pretty fast. If you don't stop and look around once in awhile, you could miss it.Ferris Bueller