Favorite Comedy Quotes
Let us go get the shit kicked out of us by love.Sam
How do you defend yourself against a man with a dildo?BrÃ¼no
Tigers love pepper... they hate cinnamon.Alan Garner
Dr. Gonzo: I have to go.
Raoul Duke: Go?
Dr. Gonzo: Yes. Leave the country. Tonight.
Raoul Duke: Calm down. You'll be straight in a few hours.
Dr. Gonzo: No. This is serious. One more hour in this town and I'll kill somebody!
[to Charlie] Ever heard of parents? We have parents who love us. You don't, 'cause you're an orphanRoy
Dory: How about we play a game?
Marlin: All right.
Dory: Okay, I'm thinking of something orange, and it's small...
Marlin: It's me.
Mrs. Fox: You know, you really are... fantastic.
Mr. Fox: I try.
Puffin: Hey Buddy wanna pick some snowberries?
Buddy: Not now Arctic Puffin!
Colonel Oates: Get down and give me infinity.
Bill: There is no way we could possibly do infinity push-ups.
Ted: Well maybe if he lets us do them girly-style...
Claire Standish: What's your name?
John Bender: What's yours?
Claire Standish: Claire.
John Bender: Claire?
Claire Standish: Claire. It's a family name.
John Bender: Oh, it's a fat girl's name.
Claire Standish: Oh, thank you.
John Bender: You're welcome.
Claire Standish: I'm not fat.
John Bender: Well, not at present.
Border Crossing Agent: [from trailer ] Why are your eyes so glassy? You been partying?
Ethan Tremblay: No, I have glaucoma.
Border Crossing Agent: What about the dog? Does he have glaucoma? His eyes are glassy too.
Jim's Dad: And who might you be?
Stifler's Mom: I'm Stifler's mom.
Jim's Dad: Oh! I'm Jim's dad...