Favorite Comedy Quotes
"Band of Brothers" ... you should rent it sometime.Gary
Marissa: Listen, I'm sorry I didn't call you on your birthday.
Frank: My birthday? What do you mean?
Marissa: Yeah, last Thursday. Oh, you forgot your birthday, didn't you, Frank?
Frank: Damn it. I'm such an idiot.
David Seville: Nicely done, Theodore.
[reading the letter]
David Seville: To Dav... let's see it says Merry Christmas, love Theodore. and i'ts got a nice picture of uh... some pineapples?
Theodore: Those aren't pinapples, that's our family!
Whereas what we have here? A bunch of fig-eaters wearing towels on their heads, trying to find reverse in a Soviet tank. This is not a worthy adversary.Walter Sobchak
Let's make this reunion our bitch!Steve Stifler
Seven schools in seven states and the only thing different is my locker combination.J.D.
[repeated line] Hello. My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die!Inigo Montoya
Excuse me? Am I being flirted with by a psychotic rat?Mrs. Fox
Husband... negative. Children and a Labrador... negative. Tight little package... affirmative.Pat Healy
[Russell grabs phone from William] Hey, mom! Its Russell Hammond. I play guitar in Stillwater. Hey, how does it feel to be the mother of the greatest rock journalist we've met? Hello? Hello? Look, you've got a really great kid here. There's nothing to worry about. We're taking good care of him, and you should come to the show sometime - join the circus...Russell Hammond
Lt. Frank Drebin: Congratulations, Ed! I hear Edna's pregnant again.
Ed Hocken: Yeah, and when I find the guy that did it...
Sam: Daniel, I have a plan!
Daniel: Thank the Lord! Tell me.
Sam: Well, girls love musicians, don't they?
Sam: Even the really weird ones get girlfriends.
Daniel: That's right. Meatloaf definitely got laid at least once. For God's sake, Ringo Starr married a Bond girl!
Sam: [looks at him strangely] Whatever.