Brick Tamland: Let's take a look at the big map. Where’s the map?
Ron Burgundy: Take a look at the monitor.
Brick Tamland: Oh god, Ron, where's my legs? I don't have any legs, Ron. Ahhh! In 93, 93…

Kyle: You have cancer?
Adam: They found it yesterday.
Kyle: They found it yesterday? Who found it?
Adam: My cleaning lady found it in the back of my jeans. Who do you think found it?

Some people carry a rabbit's foot, I like to rock a pocket of puke.

Robert 'Fish' Fishman

Randal Graves. You work here too? Jesus, anyone else from our graduating class back there?

Lance Dowds

Charlotte has pudding in her Prada.

Miranda Hobbes

[Egon is running tests on Louis, who has been possessed by Gozer and is now the Keymaster]
Dr. Egon Spengler: Vinz, you said before you were waiting for a sign. What sign are you waiting for?
Louis: Gozer the Traveler. He will come in one of the pre-chosen forms. During the rectification of the Vuldrini, the traveler came as a large and moving Torg! Then, during the third reconciliation of the last of the McKetrick supplicants, they chose a new form for him: that of a giant Slor! Many Shuvs and Zuuls knew what it was to be roasted in the depths of the Slor that day, I can tell you!

The post-game show is brought to you by... Christ, I can't find it. To hell with it.

Harry Doyle

Dusty Bottoms: What is it doing here?
Ned Nederlander: I think it's a male plane.
Dusty Bottoms: How can you tell?
Ned Nederlander: Didn't you notice its little balls?

Puffin: Hey Buddy wanna pick some snowberries?
Buddy: Not now Arctic Puffin!

Artie, Lin is not a killer. She's just a really, really, really hot, confused, Chinese girl.

Roy

Josh: You know maybe Marky Mark wants to use his popularity for a good cause, make a contribution. In case you've never heard of that, a contribution is...
Cher: Excuse me, but I have donated many expensive Italian outfits to Lucy, and as soon I get my license, I fully intend to brake for animals, and I have contributed many hours to helping two lonely teachers find romance.
Josh: Which I'll bet serves your interests more than theirs. You know, If I ever saw you do anything that wasn't ninety percent selfish, I'd die of shock.
Cher: Oh, that'd be reason enough for me.

Jim's Dad: And who might you be?
Stifler's Mom: I'm Stifler's mom.
Jim's Dad: Oh! I'm Jim's dad...

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