Favorite Comedy Quotes
Brick Tamland: Let's take a look at the big map. Where’s the map?
Ron Burgundy: Take a look at the monitor.
Brick Tamland: Oh god, Ron, where's my legs? I don't have any legs, Ron. Ahhh! In 93, 93…
Kyle: You have cancer?
Adam: They found it yesterday.
Kyle: They found it yesterday? Who found it?
Adam: My cleaning lady found it in the back of my jeans. Who do you think found it?
Some people carry a rabbit's foot, I like to rock a pocket of puke.Robert 'Fish' Fishman
Randal Graves. You work here too? Jesus, anyone else from our graduating class back there?Lance Dowds
Charlotte has pudding in her Prada.Miranda Hobbes
[Egon is running tests on Louis, who has been possessed by Gozer and is now the Keymaster]
Dr. Egon Spengler: Vinz, you said before you were waiting for a sign. What sign are you waiting for?
Louis: Gozer the Traveler. He will come in one of the pre-chosen forms. During the rectification of the Vuldrini, the traveler came as a large and moving Torg! Then, during the third reconciliation of the last of the McKetrick supplicants, they chose a new form for him: that of a giant Slor! Many Shuvs and Zuuls knew what it was to be roasted in the depths of the Slor that day, I can tell you!
The post-game show is brought to you by... Christ, I can't find it. To hell with it.Harry Doyle
Dusty Bottoms: What is it doing here?
Ned Nederlander: I think it's a male plane.
Dusty Bottoms: How can you tell?
Ned Nederlander: Didn't you notice its little balls?
Puffin: Hey Buddy wanna pick some snowberries?
Buddy: Not now Arctic Puffin!
Artie, Lin is not a killer. She's just a really, really, really hot, confused, Chinese girl.Roy
Josh: You know maybe Marky Mark wants to use his popularity for a good cause, make a contribution. In case you've never heard of that, a contribution is...
Cher: Excuse me, but I have donated many expensive Italian outfits to Lucy, and as soon I get my license, I fully intend to brake for animals, and I have contributed many hours to helping two lonely teachers find romance.
Josh: Which I'll bet serves your interests more than theirs. You know, If I ever saw you do anything that wasn't ninety percent selfish, I'd die of shock.
Cher: Oh, that'd be reason enough for me.
Jim's Dad: And who might you be?
Stifler's Mom: I'm Stifler's mom.
Jim's Dad: Oh! I'm Jim's dad...