Favorite Comedy Quotes
"Who dat?!"Sleeping Beauty
Ladies, you'd better be working hard - you weren't hired for your looks. Actually you were. Not you.Steve Stifler
Trent: Baby, that was money! Tell me that wasn't money.
Mike: That was so demeaning.
Trent: She smiled, baby.
Mike: I can't believe what an asshole you are.
Trent: Did she, or did she not smile.
Mike: She was smiling at what an asshole you are.
Trent: She was smiling at how money I am, baby.
Shaun: [in concerned tone] Mum, have you been bitten?
Barbara: No, but Philip has.
Shaun: Oh, OK.
Ed: [concerned] Has she been bitten?
Shaun: No, but Phillip has.
Ed: Oh, OK.
Becca Crane: Edward!
Team Edward: Edward? Where?
[sees Edward glittering in the sun]
Team Edward: Edward, we love you. You're the best.
Team Jacob: No, Jacob's the best!
[smacks Team Edward's face with a shovel]
Bob: Hey, you're doing pretty well for a first-timer.
Marlin: Well, you can't hold on to them forever, can you?
Bill: You know I had a tough time when my oldest went out to the drop off.
Leo: What's your name?
Ulla: Ulla Inga Hansen Bensen Yansen Tallen Hallen Svadon Swanson.
Max: What's your first name?
Ulla: That was my first name. Would you like to know my last name?
Max: We don't have the time.
J.D.: Dude, what does a mime look like when he's having sex anyway? Probably like,
[making obscene gestures with his hands]
J.D.: 'I'm a mime! I'm a mime!' Ha ha ha!
Wayne: Dude, mime's don't talk.
J.D.: They do when they're off duty.
[quoting Benjamin Franklin] Politicians are a lot like diapers. They should be changed frequently, and for the same reason.Tom Dobbs
Kumar: Man, I blew it. I blew it, man.
Anthony: Kumar, what were you doing in the freezer?
Kumar: I don't know, man, I lose my touch, man.
Dignan: Did you ever have a touch to lose, man?
[about calling Lana] It's what you want. It's what every white boy off the lake wants.Jackie
[Upon finding a Hummer filled with rifles] Thank god for rednecks!Tallahassee