My job requires a certain... moral flexibility.

Nick Naylor

[about calling Lana] It's what you want. It's what every white boy off the lake wants.


That rug really tied the room together.

The Dude

Miranda Hobbes: The only two choices for women; witch and sexy kitten.
Carrie Bradshaw: Oh you just said a mouthful there sister.

I'm not listening to you. You’re crazy.


[answers phone] Buddy the Elf! What's your favorite color?


Brodie: The usual vault rules apply: Touch not, lest ye be touched.
T.S. Quint: You're such an anal retentive bastard.
Brodie: Hey, I tried to teach you how to handle comics in the sixth grade, but oh no. You wanted to play little league.

Hitch: Lean in, place your hand on the small of her back, say it in her ear like a secret. But watch your hand placement, too high says, 'I just wanna be friends,' too low says, 'I just wanna grab some ass.'
Albert: [making holding gestures at different levels] Okay... Friends. Ass. Me.

[about to ride cheetah] This is either a really smart move or by far the stupidest thing that we have ever tried.


Excuse me. I think I had better be where other people are not.


What's the point of having an Internet connection if you're not using it to look up weird, fucked-up pictures of dirty sex you'd never have yourself?

Randal Graves

David Seville: [in the car with the chipmuncks] What?
Simon: We're talking chipmuncks, Dave. We can get out of a cat carrier. It's not even hard.

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