Favorite Comedy Quotes
Hi there. From my neck of the woods, eh? Sorry if I took a snap at you at one time. Fish gotta swim, birds gotta eat.Nigel
Squirt: Whoa! That was so cool! Hey dad! Did you see that? Did you see me? Did you see what I did?
Crush: You so totally rock, Squirt! So gimme some fin.
[they slap fins]
Toula Portokalos: Why ... why do you love me?
Ian Miller: Because I came alive when I met you
Michael Bolton: You were supposed to come in Saturday. What were you doing?
Peter Gibbons: Michael, I did nothing. I did absolutely nothing, and it was everything I thought it could be.
I could tell she knew what I was feeling, we all are orphans in Zombieland.Columbus
No you're not hardcore! Unless you live hardcore! And the legend of the rent was way hardcore!Dewey Finn
I want to give this child a typical African-American name. Ojay.BrÃ¼no
Bunny Lebowski: Blow on them.
The Dude: You want me to blow on your toes?
Bunny Lebowski: I can't blow that far.
The Dude: Are you sure he won't mind?
Bunny Lebowski: Ulli doesn't care about anything. He's a Nihilist.
The Dude: Ah. Must be exhausting.
[performing at the record release party] Rob, thank you for that kind introduction. We're no longer called Sonic Death Monkey. We're on the verge of becoming Kathleen Turner Overdrive, but just for tonight, we are Barry Jive and his Uptown Five.Barry
Mugatu: SHUT UP! Enough already, Ballstein! Who cares about Derek Zoolander anyway? The man has only one look, for Christ's sake! Blue Steel? Ferrari? Le Tigra? They're the same face! Doesn't anybody notice this? I feel like I'm taking crazy pills! I invented the piano key necktie, I invented it! What have you done, Derek? You've done nothing! NOTHIIIING! And I will be a monkey's uncle if I let you ruin this for me, because if you can't get the job done, then I will!
[flings "M" shaped shuriken at the Prime Minister]
Mugatu: Die, you wage-hiking scum!
[written on piece of paper showing it to Frank] Welcome to hell.Dwayne