Favorite Comedy Quotes
Lili Von Shtupp: Hello, cowboy. Wha's your name?
Tex: Tex, Ma'am.
Lili Von Shtupp: Texmam? Well, tell me Texmam, are you in show business?
Tex: Well, no, ma'am.
Lilly von Schtupp: Then why don't you get your fwiggin' feet off o' the stage.
Listen Moto Moto. You better treat this lady like a queen because you my friend, you found yourself the perfect women. If I was ever so lucky to find the perfect women I would give her flowers everyday and not just any flowers, okay? Her favorites are orchids, white, and breakfast in bed... six loaves of wheat toast with butter on both sides, no crust. The way she likes it. I'd be her shoulder to cry on and her best friend and I'd spend everyday trying to think of how to make her laugh. She has the most, most amazing laugh. Well that's what I would do if were you.Melman
I am ready to parrrtyyy.Annie
Gimbel's Santa: Let the kid talk.
Buddy: You disgust me! How can you live with yourself?
Gimbel's Santa: Just cool it, Zippy.
Buddy: You sit on a throne of lies.
Lee: Just try to blend in.
James Carter: What do you mean, "blend in"? I'm two feet taller than everybody in here!
Mikey Abromowitz: They do it for the joy and the rapture and the slow-motion instant replay...
Reggie Belafonte: Say, why don't you go over to the snack bar and get yourself a big plate of shut up?
You have Christ between your thighs... only with a shorter beard.Darald
...and very important, DO NOT do your homework without wearing headphones. Repeat...Rufus
Who loves ya, baby?Brooke
If I'm not back in five minutes... just wait longer.Ace Ventura
I've been living my life, okay? I've been in good relationships and I've been in shitty ones... and I've moved alot... and I've been happy, and I've been sad... and I've been lonely... and that is what I've been doing. Which is a lot more then I can say for some freak, who thinks he's gonna get the Ebola virus from a bowl of mixed nuts.Polly Prince
Samantha Jones: I can't color enough, I would color all day every day If I had my way, I would use every crayon in my box.
Carrie Bradshaw: We get it! You like to color...