Favorite Comedy Quotes
Prince Edward: Giselle!
[leaps off a bridge, begins to sing]
Prince Edward: I've been dreaming...
[cyclists collide with him]
Prince Edward: Ow.
Damn you people. This is golf. Not a rock concert.Shooter McGavin
Throw to first... Hayes is picked off! Personally, I think we got hosed on that call.Harry Doyle
Bruce: So, what's a couple of bites like you doing out so late?
Marlin: Nothing, we're not doing anything, we're not even out.
Bruce: Great! Then how would you little morsels like to come to a little - a little get-together I'm having?
Dory: You mean like a party?
Bruce: Yeah, that's it, a party! What do you say?
Dory: Oh, I love parties! That sounds like fun.
In case you haven't noticed, and judging by the attendance you haven't, the Indians have managed to win a few ball games, and are threatening to climb out of the cellar!Harry Doyle
[Shooter's ball lands on Mr. Larson's foot]
Mr. Larson: That's two thus far, Shooter.
Shooter McGavin: Oh, you can count. Good for you.
Mr. Larson: And *you* can count, on *me* -- waiting for *you* in the parking lot.
Sloane: What could happen to it? It's in a garage.
Cameron: It could get wrecked, stolen, scratched, breathed on wrong... a pigeon could shit on it! Who knows?
Ferris Bueller: Four thousand restaurants in the downtown area, I pick the one my father goes to.
Cameron: We're pinched, for sure.
Ferris Bueller: Only the meek get pinched. The bold survive.
Airplane Stewardess: [lisping] Peanuts?
Ace: Yes, I have one right here. It's bulky, but I consider it carry-on.
...and the sea cucumber turns to the mollusk and says, "With fronds like these, who needs anemones?"Marlin
Mike: I'm just dandy, I got a bowl of chocolate pudding in my underpants.
Steve: We didn't have any chocolate pudding.
Prince Edward: Have you any last words?
Robert: You have got to be kidding me!
Prince Edward: Strange words.