Favorite Comedy Quotes
Can you please find somebody else to be creepy with?Jane
Is there any way you could lend me some money? Maybe... 20 million dollars?General Aladeen
Wichita: Let's play the quiet game.
Columbus: I just wanna say...
Wichita: You've never played the quiet game, have you?
White Bitch: Behold, my white castle.
[she points to a White Castle restaurant across from them]
Edward: I think I've been there before.
You know what this is? A wing, and you are under it. All three of you, right there.Drillbit Taylor
Foster: [explaining his low number of tickets issued] I can't make them speed!
Captain O'Hagan: Try hiding.
Vanessa Loring: Your parents are probably wondering where you are.
Juno MacGuff: Nah... I mean, I'm already pregnant, so what other kind of shenanigans could I get into?
Say car Ram-Rod.Farva
I was a little boy and somebody made a shitty latch. That's what I think. That's what I think about the whole thing, OK? And I'm not gonna take those drugs anymore, because they have left me completely fucking numb. I have felt so fucking numb to everything I have experienced in my life, OK? And for that... for that I'm here to forgive you. You've always said that all you wanted was for us to have whatever it is we wanted, right? Well, maybe, what Mom wanted more then anything is for it to all be over, and for me, what I want more then anything in the world, is for it to be OK with you for me to feel something again, even if it's pain.Andrew Largeman
Michael Bolton: You were supposed to come in Saturday. What were you doing?
Peter Gibbons: Michael, I did nothing. I did absolutely nothing, and it was everything I thought it could be.
Bob Slydell: Okay... Milton Waddams.
Dom Portwood: Who's he?
Bob Porter: You know, squirrely looking guy, mumbles a lot.
Dom Portwood: Oh, yeah.
Bob Slydell: Yeah, we can't actually find a record of him being a current employee here.
Bob Porter: I looked into it more deeply and I found that apparently what happened is that he was laid off five years ago and no one ever told him, but through some kind of glitch in the payroll department, he still gets a paycheck.
Bob Slydell: So we just went a ahead and fixed the glitch.
Bill Lumbergh: Grrrreat.
Toula Portokalos: Why ... why do you love me?
Ian Miller: Because I came alive when I met you