Favorite Comedy Quotes
You know, we've known each other way back since, like... yesterday, I think it was.Chicken Joe
Jerry Lundegaard: Well, we've never done this before. But seeing as it's special circumstances and all, he says I can knock a hundred dollars off that Trucoat.
Irate Customer: A hundred... You lied to me, Mr Lundegaard. You're a bald-faced liar. A... fucking liar. Where's my goddamn checkbook? Let's get this over with.
STOP! Lemme tell something to joo... I know size can be daunting... but don't be afraid... I love you!RamÃ³n
I got a full-on robot chubby.Evil Ted
Leo: What's your name?
Ulla: Ulla Inga Hansen Bensen Yansen Tallen Hallen Svadon Swanson.
Max: What's your first name?
Ulla: That was my first name. Would you like to know my last name?
Max: We don't have the time.
You did everything penguinly possible.RamÃ³n
Alvin: Dave needs a little help from the love doctor.
Theodore: And his assistant.
No milk will ever be our milk.Veronica Vaughn
Bruce giveth and Bruce taketh away. Don't like it? Megabyte me.Bruce
Surfing Instructor: If you get bitten by a shark, you're not just gonna give up surfing, are you?
Peter Bretter: ...yeah, probably
[to Jake] Cerrano's looking for some extra power for tonight. He's looking to sacrifice a live chicken. Man, we can't have people puking in the locker room before the game!Willie Mays Hayes
Napoleon Dynamite: Pedro, how do you feel about that one?
Pedro: It looks nice.
Napoleon Dynamite: Yeah, it looks pretty sweet. It looks awesome. That suit, it's... it's incredible.