Favorite Comedy Quotes
Man... I thought this job would have more car chases and (expletive)...Schmidt
Willie Mays Hayes: Call the stewardess, Vaughn. I need one of those bags.
Rick Vaughn: There aren't any stewardesses.
Willie Mays Hayes: I wonder if they are any pilots.
Pooter, you're looking quite dapper this morning.Shelley Darlingson
Yearbook Girl: Kenny Fisher, sign my yearbook.
Kenny Fisher: No, thanks. No time.
Yearbook Girl: Come on. Where's your school spirit? Go, Hot Dogs!
DJ Sammy: Bitch, get a life!
Jane Winslett-Richardson: [about her baby] In twelve years, he'll be eleven and a half.
Steve Zissou: [pause] That was my favorite age.
Sheryl: [after Frank's suicide attempt] I'm so glad you're still here.
Frank: Well, that makes one of us.
Natalie: Shelley knows how to meet guys, hence, we will learn how to meet guys.
Shelley: Yeah, hence!
Dr Ray Stantz: You know, it just occurred to me that we really haven't had a successful test of this equipment.
Dr. Egon Spengler: I blame myself.
Dr. Peter Venkman: So do I.
Dr Ray Stantz: Well, no sense in worrying about it now.
Dr. Peter Venkman: Why worry? Each one of us is carrying an unlicensed nuclear accelerator on his back.
Dory: Would you quit it? What, the ocean isn't big enough for you or something like that? You got a problem? Huh? Do ya, do ya, do ya? You wanna piece of me? Yeah, yeah! Ooh, I'm scared now! What?
Marlin: What? You said you saw a boat.
Dory: A boat?
Dory: Hey, I've seen a boat. It went by not too long ago. It went... this way. It went this way.
Marlin: Wait a minute, you already told me which way the boat went.
Dory: I did? Oh, no...
When the fuck did we get ice cream?Winston
Bartleby Gaines: What the hell happened?
Glen: An explosion of flavor. I'm working with some very unstable herbs.
Ivana: Do you know how we keep warm in Russia?
Austin: I can guess, baby.
Ivana: We play chess.
Austin: I guessed wrong.