Favorite Comedy Quotes
Tom: Stay away from her.
Jake Taylor: Suck my dick.
Andrew Clark: So... what's your poison?
Andrew Clark: ... Ok, forget I asked.
Allison Reynolds: Vodka.
Andrew Clark: Oh yeah? How much vodka do you drink?
Allison Reynolds: Tons.
Ferris Bueller: Four thousand restaurants in the downtown area, I pick the one my father goes to.
Cameron: We're pinched, for sure.
Ferris Bueller: Only the meek get pinched. The bold survive.
Penny Pingleton, you know you are punished. From now on your wearing a giant P on your blouse EVERY DAY to school so that the whole world knows that Penny Pingleton is permanently, positively, punished.Prudence
Oh, my God. It's Mega Maid. She's gone from suck to blow.Colonel Sandurz
Alvin: Dave needs a little help from the love doctor.
Theodore: And his assistant.
I didn't stay in college for nine years just to go back to my trailer in Idaho!Carrie Mae
Cameron has never been in love - at least, nobody's ever been in love with him. If things don't change for him, he's gonna marry the first girl he lays, and she's gonna treat him like shit, because she will have given him what he has built up in his mind as the end-all, be-all of human existence. She won't respect him, 'cause you can't respect somebody who kisses your ass. It just doesn't work.Ferris Bueller
Wilbur: So you eat flies?
Charlotte A. Cavatica: No... no, no. I drink their blood.
I just don't know how we got here. Our entire relationship, I have gone above and beyond for you, for us. I've cooked, I've picked your shit up off the floor, I've laid your clothes out for you like you're a four year old. I support you, I supported your work. If we ever had dinner or anything I did the plans, I take care of everything. And I just don't feel like you appreciate any of it. I don't feel you appreciate me. All I want is to know, is for you to show me that you care.Brooke
Andrew: I said, leave her alone.
Bender: You gonna make me?
Bender: You and how many of your friends?
Andrew: Just me. Just you and me. Two hits. Me hitting you. You hitting the floor. Anytime you're ready, pal.
Ha ha ha, WIPE OUT!Big Z