Favorite Comedy Quotes
I smell something weird down here. Smells like ya'll been hitting the Devil's lettuce.Martin
Horton: I meant what I said, and I said what I meant.
Morton: [sighs] An elephant's faithful one hundred percent.
Horton: That's my code, my motto.
It makes my hair shine like the Belt of Orion.Chazz
[to Ian's parents] Now, you are family. Okay. All my life, I had a lump at the back of my neck, right here. Always, a lump. Then I started menopause and the lump got bigger from the "hormonees." It started to grow. So I go to the doctor, and he did the bio... the b... the... the bios... the... b... the "bobopsy." Inside the lump he found teeth and a spinal cord. Yes. Inside the lump was my twin.Aunt Voula
Go, trig boy! It's your birthday!Garage Band Member
I left Elton John's, where there were a hefty number of half-naked chicks with their mouths open, to hang out with you, at Christmas. It's a terrible mistake, Chubs, but you turn out to be the fucking love of my life. And to be honest, despite all my complaining, we have had a wonderful life.Billy Mack
Shaun: Who the hell put this on?
Ed: It's on random.
Liz: For fuck's sake!
Let's shag ass.Royal
Jimmy: THAT was disgusting.
Chazz: THAT, young man, is how babies are made.
Dr. Gonzo: I have to go.
Raoul Duke: Go?
Dr. Gonzo: Yes. Leave the country. Tonight.
Raoul Duke: Calm down. You'll be straight in a few hours.
Dr. Gonzo: No. This is serious. One more hour in this town and I'll kill somebody!
Jimmy: Hey could you help me?
Little Kid: Strangers are danger.
Bart: [Jim is trying to sit up from dangling on the ceiling] Need any help?
Jim: Oh, all I can get.