Favorite Comedy Quotes
Shut the fuck up, Donny.Walter Sobchak
Seven schools in seven states and the only thing different is my locker combination.J.D.
Policeman: Do you have any disgruntled employees?
Nathan Arizona Sr.: Hell, they're all disgruntled. I ain't running no damn daisy farm. My motto is "Do it my way or watch your butt!"
Policeman: Well, do you think any of them could've done it?
Nathan Arizona Sr.: Oh, don't make me laugh. Without my say-so they wouldn't piss with their pants on fire.
So long boys. See you in the funny papers.Big Dan Teague
Gentlemen start your engines! It's gonna be a bumpy ride!Neil Patrick Harris
Well, I'm gonna go make a protein shake.Jason
Badger: In summation, I think you just got to not do it, man. That's all.
Mr. Fox: I understand what you're saying, and your comments are valuable, but I'm gonna ignore your advice.
Badger: The cuss you are.
Mr. Fox: The cuss am I? Are you cussing with me?
Badger: No, you cussing with me?
Mr. Fox: Don't cussing point at me!
Badger: If you're gonna cuss, you're not gonna cuss with me, you little cuss!
Badger: You're not gonna cuss with me!
[Both start snarling at each other, and then settle down]
Mr. Fox: Just buy the tree.
Hey Hal, come look at this turd! It looks like Klinger from M.A.S.H.!Mauricio
Nurse: Have you ever levitated a nurse before?
Uncle Hendrick: Yes, but that's a very long story.
Mike Tyson: By the way man, where you get that cop car from?
Stu Price: We uh, stole it from these dumbass cops.
Mike Tyson: *Nice*!
Mike Tyson: *Nice*! High five there!... That's nice!
He's on his final hole. He's about 455 yards away, he's gonna hit about a 2 iron I think.Carl Spackler
We fear change.Garth Algar