Favorite Comedy Quotes
Kip: It's a time machine, Napoleon. We bought it online.
Napoleon Dynamite: Yeah, right.
Kip: It works, Napoleon. You don't even know.
Leah: Woah check out baby big head. That thing is freaky looking.
Juno MacGuff: Excuse me? I am a sacred vessel, alright? All you've got in your stomach is Taco Bell.
Charlie: Hey Bart, is it me or is the world rising?
Bart: I don't know, but whatever it is, I hate it.
Bueller?... Bueller?... Bueller?Economics Teacher
I am never satisfied... it is a curse!Chazz
I left Elton John's, where there were a hefty number of half-naked chicks with their mouths open, to hang out with you, at Christmas. It's a terrible mistake, Chubs, but you turn out to be the fucking love of my life. And to be honest, despite all my complaining, we have had a wonderful life.Billy Mack
I smell something weird down here. Smells like ya'll been hitting the Devil's lettuce.Martin
Let's get pissed and watch pornBilly Mack
No I will not make out with you. Did ya hear that? this girl wants to make out with me in the middle of class. You got Chlorophyll Man up there talking about God knows what and all she can talk about is making out with me. I'm here to learn, everybody, not to make out with you. Go on with the chlorophyll.Billy Madison
If the pigs were gathering in Vegas, I felt the drug culture should be represented as well. And there was a certain bent appeal in the notion of running a savage burn on one Las Vegas hotel, and then just wheeling across town and checking into another. Me and a thousand ranking cops from all over America. Why not? Move confidently into their midst.Raoul Duke
Ken: You from the States?
Jimmy: Yeah. But don't hold it against me.
Ken: I'll try not to... Just try not to say anything too loud or crass.
It makes my hair shine like the Belt of Orion.Chazz