Janis: That little one, that's Gretchen Wieners.
Damian: She's totally rich because her dad invented Toaster Streudels.
Janis: Gretchen Wieners knows everybody's business, she knows everything about everyone.
Damian: That's why her hair is so big, it's full of secrets.
Janis: And evil takes a human form in Regina George. Don't be fooled because she may seem like your typical selfish, back-stabbing slut faced ho-bag, but in reality, she's so much more than that.
Damian: She's the queen bee - the star, those other two are just her little workers.

All I care about is getting out of the Vista View apartments, because there ain't no 'vista', there ain't no "view", and there certainly ain't no vista of no view.

Rhonda Deane

Leo: What's your name?
Ulla: Ulla Inga Hansen Bensen Yansen Tallen Hallen Svadon Swanson.
Max: What's your first name?
Ulla: That was my first name. Would you like to know my last name?
Max: We don't have the time.

Dr. Patel: I will not tolerate this business from you any longer. You have one more interview tomorrow morning, and if I hear from Dr. Wein that you are anything short of spectacular, I'll completely cut you off.
Kumar: Dad, come on.
Dr. Patel: Daddy is not coming on anything!

[quoting Benjamin Franklin] Politicians are a lot like diapers. They should be changed frequently, and for the same reason.

Tom Dobbs

Oh ok, I'll just go fuck myself then.

Matthew

I say, why don't you guys locate your dicks, remove the shrink wrap, and fucking *use* them!

Steve Stifler

A bear ate all my clothes except for these condoms.

Brüno

Regina George: She thinks she's gonna have a party and not invite me? Who does she think she is?
Shane Oman: You're right, hon.
Regina George: I like *invented* her, you know what I mean?

Like I always tell my clients - begin each day as if it were on purpose.

Hitch

Andy Sachs: [seeing Nigel with a black gown] I love that! Will that fit me?
Nigel: A little Crisco and some fishing wire and we'll be in business.

Gopher, Everett?

Delmar O'Donnell

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