Favorite Comedy Quotes
Jocelyn: [at a board meeting over the April issue] Well... they're showing a lot of florals right now, so I was thinking...
Miranda Priestly: Florals? For spring? Ground breaking.
Cindy Kim: Have you seen a Korean guy around here?
Hippie Student: Yeah, only when I open my eyes though.
I'm not sure I agree with you a hundred percent on your police work, there, Lou.Marge Gunderson
Emily: Andrea, Runway is fashion magazine, an interest in fashion is crucial.
Andy Sachs: What makes you think I'm not interested in fashion?
Nicholas Angel: [turning around to face a group of school children] Are there any questions?
Danny Butterman: [sitting at the back of a group of school children] Is it true that there's a point on a man's head where if you shoot it, it will blow up?
Wayne Campbell: [holding a bag of Doritos] Maybe I'm wrong on this one, but for me, the beast doesn't include selling out. Garth, you know what I'm talking about, right?
Garth Algar: [wearing Reebok wardrobe] It's like people only do these things because they can get paid. And that's just really sad.
Wayne Campbell: I can't talk about it anymore; it's giving me a headache.
Garth Algar: Here, take two of these!
[Dumps two Nuprin pills into Wayne's hand]
Wayne Campbell: Ah, Nuprin. Little. Yellow. Different.
Benjamin: Look, you can stay here in the big leagues and play by the rules, or you can go back to the farm club in Aurora. It's your choice.
Wayne Campbell: [holding a can of Pepsi] Yes, and it's the choice of a new generation.
Janey: I read Sylvia Plath, I listen to Bikini Kill and I eat Tofu. I am a unique rebel.
Mitch: It sounds more like you're a lesbo.
Mr. Briggs: Hey, Mitch, now leave your sister alone.
Janey: Thank you, daddy.
Mr. Briggs: If Janey wants to be a rug-muncher, that's her decision.
Andy Sachs: So none of the girls here eat anything?
Nigel: Not since two became new four and zero became the new two.
Andy Sachs: Well, I'm a six...
Nigel: Which is the new fourteen.
You went upstairs? Why didn't you just crawl into bed with her ask a bedtime story?Emily
Jerry Lundegaard: Well, we've never done this before. But seeing as it's special circumstances and all, he says I can knock a hundred dollars off that Trucoat.
Irate Customer: A hundred... You lied to me, Mr Lundegaard. You're a bald-faced liar. A... fucking liar. Where's my goddamn checkbook? Let's get this over with.
[in the middle of a class lecture] Rock stars have kidnapped my son!Elaine Miller
Pack it in, Frank, you silly bastard!Nicholas Angel