Favorite Comedy Quotes
Peter Bretter: Is she coming this way?
Rachel Jansen: Yep.
Peter Bretter: I wish I wasn't wearing this fucking shirt.
Where's home? It's gone! Someone stole it!Boog
Ash: [the boys are breaking into Mrs. Bean's kitchen; Ash addresses Kris] You should probably put your bandit hat on now. Personally, I- I don't have one, but I modified this tube sock.
Kristofferson: You look good.
Ash: Yeah, I do.
I love being an American.General Aladeen
Dave: "I have decided who I want to be our new vice president of sales...me!"
Nick: "What did he say?"
Dave: "Nick? Please, we're in the middle of a meeting."
Dave: "That's alright, I'll just attribute this to your drinking problem."
Nick: High five
Jacob: Did you just say, 'high five' instead of high giving?
Lou: High five
Jacob: You don't have the energy for this?
Nick: High five
Jules: You scratch our backs, we'll scratch yours.
Seth: Well, funny thing about my back, is it's located on my cock.
Stu Price: You are literally too stupid to insult.
Alan Garner: Thank you.
Borat: You like me? You are my friend?
Driving Instructor: Yes, I am your friend.
Borat: You be my boyfriend?
Driving Instructor: No, I'm not your boyfriend... okay, yeah, I guess I can be your boyfriend.
I don't know how to put this but I'm kind of a big deal.Ron Burgundy
Gibbs: So, we're setting out to find whatever this key unlocks.
Jack Sparrow: No. If we don't have the key, we can't open whatever we dont' have that it unlocks. So what purpose would be served in finding whatever need be unlocked, which we don't have, without first having found the key what unlocks it?
Pamela! I no find you attractive anymore! ... Not!Borat