Favorite Comedy Quotes
Oop... I almost forgot. I won't be able to make it fellas. Veronica and I trying this new fad called uh, jogging. I believe it's jogging or yogging. it might be a soft j. I'm not sure but apparently you just run for an extended period of time. It's supposed to be wild.Ron Burgundy
Tim: By the way, it says 'balls' on your face.
Andrew Largeman: [to Mark] Asshole!
Mark: What? My mum did it.
She had hands as big as Andre the Giant's, and she had an Adam's apple as big as her balls.Andy Stitzer
[referring to woman in feminism group] I could not concentrate on what this old man was saying.Borat
I will look through your treasures, gypsy. Is this understood?Borat
You telling me the man who try to put a rubber fist in my anus was a homosexual?Borat
Some are born great, others have greatness thrust upon them.Teddy Roosevelt
Tattoo on the lower back? Might as well be a bullseye.Jeremy Grey
Ron Burgundy: I can't believe you did this to me. You read my news.
Veronica Corningstone: I told you that I wanted to be an anchor. I told you that.
Ron Burgundy: I thought you were kidding. I thought it was a joke, I even wrote it down in my diary. "Veronica had a very funny joke today." I laughed at it later that night.
Veronica Corningstone: I can't believe that I cared for you.
Ron Burgundy: Get out. Just go. We are through. Through. Because of your actions, you scorpion woman.
Veronica Corningstone: You have broken my heart, Mr. Burgundy. You have broken my heart.
I haven't cried like that since Titanic!Tallahassee
Brick Tamland: [opposing women in the newsroom] I read somewhere their periods attract bears. Bears can smell the menstruation.
Brian Fantana: Well, that's just great. You hear that, Ed? Bears. Now you're putting the whole station in jeopardy.
You're pretentious, this club sucks, I have beef. Let's fight.Scott Pilgrim