Uncle Rico: I wish you wouldn't look at me like that, Napoleon.
Napoleon Dynamite: I wish you'd get out of my life and shut up!
Uncle Rico: I'm gonna tell you somethin' right now. While you're out there playing patty cake with your friend Pedro, your Uncle Rico is makin' 120 bucks.
Napoleon Dynamite: I could make that much money in five seconds!
Kip: Geez. Yeah right, Napoleon. I made, like, 75 bucks today.
Uncle Rico: Napoleon, it's looks like you don't have a job. So why don't you get out there and feed Tina.
Napoleon Dynamite: Why don't you go eat a decroded piece of crap!

I loves the Pamela Andersons.


Ron Burgundy: Discovered by the Germans in 1904, they named it San Diego, which of course in German means a whale's vagina.
Veronica Corningstone: No, there's no way that's correct.
Ron Burgundy: I'm sorry, I was trying to impress you. I don't know what it means. I'll be honest, I don't think anyone knows what it means anymore. Scholars maintain that the translation was lost hundreds of years ago.
Veronica Corningstone: Doesn't it mean Saint Diego?
Ron Burgundy: No. No.
Veronica Corningstone: No, that's - that's what it means. Really.
Ron Burgundy: Agree to disagree.

I swear, I'm so pissed off at my mom. As soon as she's of age, I'm putting her in a home.

Brennan Huff

"That's probably Ashton Kolchak right now, tellin' us we've been 'punk'd' or whatever."

Adam [after a knock on the door]

Nursing Home Orderly: Good news, everybody, we're extending arts and crafts time by four hours today.
Elderly Woman: My fingers hurt.
Nursing Home Orderly: What's that?
Elderly Woman: My fingers hurt.
Nursing Home Orderly: Oh, well, now your back's gonna hurt, 'cause you just pulled landscaping duty. Anybody else's fingers hurt?... I didn't think so.

Not that I condone fascism, or any -ism for that matter. -Ism's in my opinion are not good. A person should not believe in an -ism, he should believe in himself. I quote John Lennon, "I don't believe in The Beatles, I just believe in me." Good point there. After all, he was the walrus. I could be the walrus but it still wouldn't change the fact that I don't own a car!

Ferris Bueller

Do I look like a cat to you boy? Am I jumpin' around all nimbly bimbly from tree to tree? Am I drinking milk from a saucer? DO YOU SEE ME EATING MICE?


What do tigers dream of when they take a little tiger snooze? Do they dream of mauling zebras or Halle Berry in her cat woman suit.

Stu Price

I wake up in the morning and I piss excellence.

Ricky Bobby

Ricky Bobby: Wow, I feel like I'm in Highlander.
Jean Girard: What is the Highlander?
Ricky Bobby: It's a movie.
Jean Girard: Oh. Any good?
Ricky Bobby: Very good. It won the Academy Award.
Jean Girard: For what?
Ricky Bobby: For best movie ever made.

I'm a peacock, you've gotta let me FLY!

Terry Hoitz

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