Favorite Comedy Quotes
You're gonna die, clown.Happy Gilmore
Jack Sparrow: Er, Mr. Gibbs...
Jack Sparrow: I feel sullied and unusual.
Pardon my French, but Cameron is so tight that if you stuck a lump of coal up his ass, in two weeks you'd have a diamond.Ferris Bueller
So long, gay boys!Mr. Chow
Oh, this is the worst-looking hat I ever saw. What, when you buy a hat like this I bet you get a free bowl of soup, huh? [Sees judge Smalls in the same hat] Oh, it looks good on you though.Al Czervik
There was only one road back to L.A. - U.S. Interstate 15. Just a flat-out high speed burn through Baker and Barstow and Berdoo. Then onto the Hollywood Freeway, and straight on into frantic oblivion. Safety. Obscurity. Just another freak. In the freak kingdom.Raoul Duke
[about Gloria] She took me below deck for forty-five minutes. I have no bodily fluids left in me.Jeremy Grey
Saul: Sick! You threw up in my printer!
Dale Denton: I did.
Saul: You break it?
Dale Denton: I hope not.
Jack Sparrow: How are we going?
Gibbs: Including those four? That gives us... four.
Happy Gilmore: You like THAT old man? You want a piece of ME?
Bob Barker: I don't want a PIECE of you, I want the whole THING!
[Looking at a suspicious-looking passerby]
Nicholas Angel: All right, what about this guy? Ask yourself, why has he got his hat pulled down like that?
Danny Butterman: He's fuck-ugly.
Nicholas Angel: Or, he doesn't want you to see his face.
Danny Butterman: Yeah, it's 'cause he's fuck-ugly.
I Want To Tickle Your Belly Button... From The Inside.Nick Twisp and Francois Dillinger