Favorite Comedy Quotes
Jak sie masz? My name Borat. I like you. I like sex. Is nice!Borat
If you ain't first, you're last.Ricky Bobby
They laughed at Louie Armstrong when he said he was going to the moon, and now he's laughing at them from up there.Chazz
Let me check out your chest... Let me check out your test.Ms. Griggs
Jimmy: Get out of my face!
Chazz: I'll get inside your face!
Randy: Napoleon, give me some of your tots.
Napoleon Dynamite: No, go find your own.
Randy: Come on, give me some of your tots.
Napoleon Dynamite: No, I'm freakin' starving! I didn't get to eat anything today.
Chazz: This ends TONIGHT!
Jimmy: It's daytime, you douche!
[to a group of children at a wedding] Love doesn't exist, that's what I'm trying to tell you guys. And I'm not picking on love, 'cause I don't think friendship exists either.John Beckwith
Regina: Why were you talking to Janis Ian?
Cady: I don't know, I mean, she's so weird, she just, you know, came up to me and started talking to me about crack.
Regina: She's so pathetic. Let me tell you something about Janis Ian. We were best friends in middle school. I know, right? It's so embarrassing. I don't even... Whatever. So then in eighth grade, I started going out with my first boyfriend Kyle who was totally gorgeous but then he moved to Indiana, and Janis was like, weirdly jealous of him. Like, if I would blow her off to hang out with Kyle, she'd be like, "Why didn't you call me back?" And I'd be like, "Why are you so obsessed with me?" So then, for my birthday party, which was an all-girls pool party, I was like, "Janis, I can't invite you, because I think you're lesbian." I mean I couldn't have a lesbian at my party. There were gonna be girls there in their *bathing suits*. I mean, right? She was a LESBIAN. So then her mom called my mom and started yelling at her, it was so retarded. And then she dropped out of school because no one would talk to her, and she came back in the fall for high school, all of her hair was cut off and she was totally weird, and now I guess she's on crack.
This is Orkin, the town rapist! Naughty, naughty!Borat
Cal Naughton, Jr.: Shake and bake!
Jean Girard: Is that a catchphrase or epilepsy?