Favorite Comedy Quotes
Nigel Tufnel: You can't fucking concentrate because of your fucking wife! Simple as that, alright? It's your fucking wife!
David St. Hubbins: She's not my wife.
Nigel Tufnel: Well whatever FUCK she is, alright? You can't concentrate!
You know what you are, Flint Lockwood? A shenaniganizer! A tomfool!Earl Devereaux
[about Mini-me] Jesus Christ, he's tiny! I've had bigger chunks of corn in my crap.Fat Bastard
I passed through the seven levels of the Candy Cane forest, through the sea of swirly twirly gum drops, and then I walked through the Lincoln Tunnel.Buddy
Ted: Hey, thanks for 9/11.
Indian woman: I'm Indian.
Ted: Yeah, whatever.
Not So Slim Shady, what's up? I haven't seen you since high school...Jenko
Kat Stratford: We're going now.
Walter Stratford: Alright, wait a minute. No drinking, no drugs, no kissing, no tattoos, no piercings, NO ritual animal slaughters of any kind... oh God, I'm giving them ideas.
Gang Bang Guy: Hello.
Gang Bang Guy: I'm here for the gangbang...
You may run like Hayes. but you hit like shit.Lou Brown
Dr Ray Stantz: Symmetrical book stacking. Just like the Philadelphia mass turbulence of 1947.
Dr. Peter Venkman: You're right, no human being would stack books like this.
Oh Mrs. Crane, you're a little monkey woman. Yeah, you're lean, mean, and I bet you're not too far in between are ya. How'd you like to wrap your spikes around my...Carl Spackler
Bet ya that chick's two tons of fun. You know, the grateful type?Jack