Bet ya that chick's two tons of fun. You know, the grateful type?

Jack

Rob Newhouse: Conjugal visits? Mmmm. Not that I know of. Y'know, minimum-security prison is no picnic. I have a client in there right now. He says the trick is: kick someone's ass the first day, or become someone's bitch. Then everything will be all right... Why do you ask, anyway?

Mr. Wong: Remember, black people run very fast. But problem run faster.
Norbit: ...That's kinda racist.
Mr. Wong: Yes, Wong very racist. Don't like black. Don't like Jew either. But black and Jew love Chinese food. Go figure.

Mmm, yeah, I'm going to have to go ahead and ask you to come in on Sunday, too. We've got some new people coming in and we... need to play catch-up. Thanks!

Bill Lumbergh

Miracle Max: Have fun stormin' da castle.
Valerie: Think it'll work?
Miracle Max: It would take a miracle.

You know what you are, Flint Lockwood? A shenaniganizer! A tomfool!

Earl Devereaux

Droz: What's Your major?
Sanskrit Major: Sanskrit
Droz: Sanskrit. You are majoring in a 5,000-year-old, dead language?
Sanskrit Major: Yeah.

[about Regina] I have this theory that if you cut off all her hair she'd look like a British man.

Cady

Michelle: What's my name? Say my name, bitch!
Jim: Michelle! Michelle.

Up your butt, Jobu.

Eddie Harris

Dr Ray Stantz: Symmetrical book stacking. Just like the Philadelphia mass turbulence of 1947.
Dr. Peter Venkman: You're right, no human being would stack books like this.

I'm going to give you a little advice. There's a force in the universe that makes things happen. And all you have to do is get in touch with it, stop thinking, let things happen, and be the ball.

Ty Webb

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