Favorite Comedy Quotes
We don't sell Tic Tacs, we sell cigarettes. And they're cool, available, and *addictive*. The job is almost done for us.BR
Bazooko's Circus is what the whole hep world would be doing Saturday nights if the Nazis had won the war. This was the Sixth Reich.Raoul Duke
This is your one opportunity to do something that no one has ever done before and that no one will copy throughout human existence. And if nothing else, you will be remembered as the one guy who ever did this. This one thing.Sam
[to Deborah] Lately, your low self-esteem is just good common sense.Evelyn Norwich
Jibber jabber jibber jabbering, mumbo jumbo, denial, key-key-key key-key-key!Dr. Buddy Rydell
Hats for bats, keep bats warm.Pedro Cerrano
Makes me feel like I'm going shopping for a training bra.Terry Hoitz
Gloria Cleary: I've been thinking about what you said and I think the problem is that I'm not being adventurous enough for you.
Jeremy Grey: Gloria, I think that's the complete opposite of what I was saying.
Phil Wenneck: Tracy, it's Phil.
Tracy Garner: Phil, where the hell are you guys?
Phil Wenneck: We lost Doug.
Tracy Garner: What? We're getting married in five hours.
Phil Wenneck: Yeah... that's not gonna happen.
Listen, Lassie, and listen good. I'm not saying he's not gonna get married. I'm not saying he's not gonna have kids. If it does happen, his wife is gonna come home, and find him with his Tiajuana lover clubbing each other with Yanni's greatest hits.Gary
He likes food, and dreams, and whispers... his favorite movie is Short Circuit... and Fried Green tomatoes.Hector
This is it, Aaron. This is rock n' roll. Did you enjoy the party?Aldous Snow