Favorite Comedy Quotes
Not So Slim Shady, what's up? I haven't seen you since high school...Jenko
Up your butt, Jobu.Eddie Harris
You may run like Hayes. but you hit like shit.Lou Brown
Wait a minute. I might just have an idea. They'll be looking for us at Maury's right? But they won't be looking for... not us.Derek Zoolander
We don't sell Tic Tacs, we sell cigarettes. And they're cool, available, and *addictive*. The job is almost done for us.BR
Hats for bats, keep bats warm.Pedro Cerrano
Eli: What'd you say?
Richie: Hmm? I didn't say anything.
Eli: When? Right now?
Harry: What about birth control?
Erica Barry: Menopause.
Harry: [pauses] Who's the lucky boy?
Moisture is the essence of wetness, and wetness is the essence of beauty.Derek Zoolander
Playing with my money is like playing with my emotions, Smokey.Big Worm
Crash Davis: You just got lesson number one: don't think; it can only hurt the ball club.
Groundskeeper Sandy: Carl. Damn your eyes. I told you, today is the day we change the holes. Now, do it, and no more slacking off.
Carl Spackler: I'll slack you off, you fuzzy little foreigner.