Favorite Comedy Quotes
Makes me feel like I'm going shopping for a training bra.Terry Hoitz
He likes food, and dreams, and whispers... his favorite movie is Short Circuit... and Fried Green tomatoes.Hector
This is it, Aaron. This is rock n' roll. Did you enjoy the party?Aldous Snow
If you do anything to make my little sister cry or hurt her or do anything to her, I'm gonna come at you with razor blades and lemon juice.Big Jack
If you want information from Lula, you goin' have to bring her a snack.Lula
Peter: [Talking about the frozen White Bitch] We will create a democratic society, and give her a fair trail, and...
Captain Jack Swallows: [Jack Swallows come rolling by on the wodden wheel and runs over the Bitch]
[In the distance]
Captain Jack Swallows: Take that, Bitch!
Peter: [pauses] Ah, screw her anyways.
Austin Powers: Like I'd ever let Goldmember get away.
Foxxy Cleopatra: Austin? Goldmember's getting away.
[about Mini-me] Jesus Christ, he's tiny! I've had bigger chunks of corn in my crap.Fat Bastard
It's on till the break of dawn!Costa
Wear something tight.Costa
Kim Pine: Scott, if your life had a face, I would punch it.
Scott Pilgrim: Hahahaha... wait, what?
Officer Slater: [talking to Fogell with Officer Michaels in the liquor store after a robbery] May we see your identification?
[Fogell uneasily hands over his fake I.D]
Officer Slater: McLovin?
[Fogell is really nervous]
Officer Slater: [pauses] That's a cool name, man.
Fogell: [amazed that his fake I.D. worked] Wha...
Officer Slater: Yeah, people have weird names nowadays. Once I pulled arrested this man-lady, and his legal first name was "Fuck".
Officer Michaels: He was Vietnamese, so it was probably spelled with a "ph", I dunno.