Favorite Comedy Quotes
You win some, you lose some. But you live, you live to fight another day.Mr. Jones
Crash Davis: You just got lesson number one: don't think; it can only hurt the ball club.
Groundskeeper Sandy: Carl. Damn your eyes. I told you, today is the day we change the holes. Now, do it, and no more slacking off.
Carl Spackler: I'll slack you off, you fuzzy little foreigner.
I am going to be SO pissed if it doesn't.Evan Baxter
Why do you sound like Evan but look like a Bee Gee?Rita
It's on till the break of dawn!Costa
Deb: Are they still letting you run for president?
Pedro: Yes. I don't understand... they say you're not allowed to have pinatas that look like real people, but in Mexico, we do it all the time.
Dr. Gonzo: Let's give the boy a lift.
Raoul Duke: What? No. We can't stop here. This is bat country.
Bazooko's Circus is what the whole hep world would be doing Saturday nights if the Nazis had won the war. This was the Sixth Reich.Raoul Duke
Sandy: Carl I want you to kill all the gophers on the golf course
Carl Spackler: Correct me if I'm wrong Sandy, but if I kill all the golfers they'll lock me up and throw away the key.
Sandy: Not golfers, you great fool. Gophers. The *little* *brown*, *furry* *rodents*.
Carl Spackler: We can do that. We don't even need a reason.
I'm going to give you a little advice. There's a force in the universe that makes things happen. And all you have to do is get in touch with it, stop thinking, let things happen, and be the ball.Ty Webb
Gloria Cleary: I've been thinking about what you said and I think the problem is that I'm not being adventurous enough for you.
Jeremy Grey: Gloria, I think that's the complete opposite of what I was saying.