Favorite Comedy Quotes
Gloria Cleary: I've been thinking about what you said and I think the problem is that I'm not being adventurous enough for you.
Jeremy Grey: Gloria, I think that's the complete opposite of what I was saying.
Well, we're waiting!Judge Smails
[to Deborah] Lately, your low self-esteem is just good common sense.Evelyn Norwich
Harry: So you got fired again, eh?
Lloyd: Oh yeah. They always freak out when you leave the scene of an accident, ya' know?
Harry: Yeah, well, I lost my job too.
Lloyd: Man, you are one pathetic loser. No offense.
Harry: No, none taken. You know what really chaps my ass though? I spent my life savings turning my van into a dog. The alarm alone cost me two hundred.
Lloyd: Hey, chicks love it. Its the shaggin' wagon.
Kim Pine: Scott, if your life had a face, I would punch it.
Scott Pilgrim: Hahahaha... wait, what?
Fairchild Van Waldenberg: Mommy and Daddy would've wanted you to do it!
Stranz Van Waldenberg: Yeah, remember how they used to be alive?
Makes me feel like I'm going shopping for a training bra.Terry Hoitz
He likes food, and dreams, and whispers... his favorite movie is Short Circuit... and Fried Green tomatoes.Hector
Playing with my money is like playing with my emotions, Smokey.Big Worm
This is Natalya. She is my sister. She is number-four prostitute in whole of Kazakhstan.Borat
May George Bush drink the blood of every man, woman and child in Iraq!Borat
Prepare to get fucked by the long dick of the law.Officer Michaels