Favorite Comedy Quotes
Why do you sound like Evan but look like a Bee Gee?Rita
Dr. Gonzo: Let's give the boy a lift.
Raoul Duke: What? No. We can't stop here. This is bat country.
Oh Mrs. Crane, you're a little monkey woman. Yeah, you're lean, mean, and I bet you're not too far in between are ya. How'd you like to wrap your spikes around my...Carl Spackler
Bazooko's Circus is what the whole hep world would be doing Saturday nights if the Nazis had won the war. This was the Sixth Reich.Raoul Duke
Deb: Are they still letting you run for president?
Pedro: Yes. I don't understand... they say you're not allowed to have pinatas that look like real people, but in Mexico, we do it all the time.
Sandy: Carl I want you to kill all the gophers on the golf course
Carl Spackler: Correct me if I'm wrong Sandy, but if I kill all the golfers they'll lock me up and throw away the key.
Sandy: Not golfers, you great fool. Gophers. The *little* *brown*, *furry* *rodents*.
Carl Spackler: We can do that. We don't even need a reason.
Bet ya that chick's two tons of fun. You know, the grateful type?Jack
Gloria Cleary: I've been thinking about what you said and I think the problem is that I'm not being adventurous enough for you.
Jeremy Grey: Gloria, I think that's the complete opposite of what I was saying.
And now people. And now people. When I woke up this morning, I heard a disturbing sound. I said when I woke up this morning, I heard a disturbing sound. What I heard was the jingle-jangle of a thousand lost souls, departed from this life.Reverend Cleophus James
Kat Stratford: We're going now.
Walter Stratford: Alright, wait a minute. No drinking, no drugs, no kissing, no tattoos, no piercings, NO ritual animal slaughters of any kind... oh God, I'm giving them ideas.
Austin Powers: Like I'd ever let Goldmember get away.
Foxxy Cleopatra: Austin? Goldmember's getting away.
I'm going to give you a little advice. There's a force in the universe that makes things happen. And all you have to do is get in touch with it, stop thinking, let things happen, and be the ball.Ty Webb