Favorite Comedy Quotes
I will forgive Pamela, and I will go to California, with my friend Mr. Jesus, and we will take her!Borat
[his answering machine message] It's Phil, leave a message. Actually, you know what, don't text me. It's gay.Phil Wenneck
[subtitled] Urkin, not too much raping... Humans only!Borat
I'm stupid. You're smart. I was wrong. You were right. You're the best. I'm the wrost. You're very good-looking. I'm not very attractive.Happy Gilmore
What brings you to this nape of the woods, neck of the wape; How come you're here?Ty Webb
God: Grace. You want her back?
Bruce: No. I want her to be happy, no matter what that means. I want her to find someone who will treat her with all the love she deserved from me. I want her to meet someone who will see her always as I do now, through Your eyes.
God: Now THAT'S a prayer.
Spalding Smails: I want a hamburger... no, a cheeseburger. I want a hot dog. I want a milkshake...
Judge Smails: You'll get nothing, and like it.
In my country, they would go crazy for these two.Borat
Nobody has gotten a B.J. in cargo shorts since Vietnam!Seth
Health Clinic Counselor: Oral sex play...
Boy at Health Clinic: Sounds like my Friday night.
Dad at Health Clinic: Oh, shut up Seth, we went to temple.
Ay ay ay if I want to hear you talk I will shove my arm up your ass and work your mouth like a puppet.P.K. Highsmith