Favorite Comedy Quotes
Bunny Lebowski: I'll suck your cock for a thousand dollars.
Brandt: Ah hahahahaha! Wonderful woman. We're all, we're all very fond of her. Very free-spirited.
Bunny Lebowski: Brandt can't watch, though, or he has to pay a hundred.
Brandt: Ah haha. That's marvelous.
The Dude: Uh, I'm just gonna go find a cash machine.
"I want an escort to escort our penises into her vagina."Lou [on phone to an escort service]
Sometimes when you snort coke, your heart stops and starts up again. Read a book!Mr. Chow
Cartman: Don't call me fat, you fucking Jew!
Mr. Garrison: Eric, did you just say the F-word?
Kyle: No, he's talking about "fuck". You can't say "fuck" in school, you fucking fat ass!
Raul: What you huggin me for?
RamÃ³n: He told me to.
Raul: Get away.
RamÃ³n: No, you like it!
Sergio Roma: I'm mind-fucking you right now.
Aaron Green: Well I hope you're dick has a condom on, because I have a dirty mind.
[singing] When Cameron was in Egypt's land..."let my Cameron go!"Cameron
Ribbed for her pleasure. Ewww.Garth Algar
My heart is, and always will be, yours.Edward Ferrars
OK, so... so... sometimes I lie. I mean, I'm weird, man. About random stuff too, I don't even know why I do it. It's like... it's like a tick, I mean sometimes I hear myself say something and think, Wow, that wasn't even remotely true.Sam
Miranda Priestly: ...You have no sense of fashion...
Andy Sachs: I think that depends on...
Miranda Priestly: No, no, that wasn't a question.
David: You know how I know you're gay?
David: Your dick tastes like shit.